A Great Meditation Book

In an airport bookstore the other day, I bought a book that ended up being much better and far more fun than I had hoped. It's called 10% Happier: How I tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, And Found Self-Help That Actually Works - A True Story. Maybe I was just impressed with the subtitle, that pretty much took up most of the cover. It's by a top network news guy named Dan Harris. And it's really good.

Dan is a highly competitive person in a crazy competitive business and he had gotten so accustomed to the unhelpful nagging critical and often angry voice in his head dogging him throughout the day that he just assumed he was stuck with its stress and negative energy. I won't give away the story, but he discovers the world of self-help and meditation and approaches it all as a very skeptical guy - very funny, and cynical to boot. At some level, he realizes that he needs some help with his inner stress. But he interviews several of the top people who claim to have the answers and comes away just perplexed. There's some great gossip in here, by the way, if you go for that sort of thing - some nice celebrity stories and crazy tales you can enjoy in addition to what you'll learn that's of value.

If you ever wondered about meditation as something you should maybe consider, but didn't know where to start or who to believe about it, then do yourself a favor and get this book. And when you're done laughing, just sit and think about your breath for 5 minutes, in and out. And repeat daily. And, if you're anything like Dan, you'll start noticing a difference, not consistently at first, but over time. And you may even write me a note to thank me for telling you about the book.

You're welcome.

Life is Art.

Life is art. We'd like to believe that life is science, that there are precise universal laws for everything and, if we can just memorize the laws, and act in perfect accordance with them, we'll know exactly the results we'll get. But we've been given a more interesting existence than that cosmic scenario would provide.

We're all living with uncertainty, always encountering the unknown. We have great advice from those who have travelled this path before us, but it won't guarantee us the results we want. It will just position us for better results. It's all an art, not a science. We can still falter and fail. But that's Ok. Everyone does. That's why life takes courage, resilience, and skill.

If you're far enough along in the great scheme of things to be reading a blog like this, then you know what I'm talking about. We'd all feel relieved if life and love could be accomplishments like chemistry: mix the right things together under the right conditions, and you always get the right results. But what we've been given is vastly more interesting and exciting than that. We've been given the chance for real risk and true adventure. We still need each other's advice. But we can't give or receive guarantees. Yet, that's Ok. We're all in it together.

So seek advice. Give advice. Cultivate your skills and your art. Help others to do likewise. That way, you play to win, and to help others to win. And that's exactly what we're here to do. If this is our attitude, then any loss can just be a step in the direction of a win, and of a worthy work of art.

An Idea is a Spark

An idea is a spark of possibility. But a spark needs proper tinder in order to give rise to a flame.

I was re-reading The Notebooks of Albert Camus for a bit, and I came across this passage:

For a thought to change the world, it must first change the life of the man who carries it. It must become an example.

I've long had a certain practice. I come across some new idea, or a set of ideas. I get excited about it. I want to pass it on, to write about it, and to speak on it. But first, I have to try it out. I have to use my own life as an experimental laboratory. Will this new idea spark a flame in the right way? Can I make use of it well? If I've tried an idea in my own life and it works as well as I had hoped, then I can tell others.

There are too many people in the world right now writing about, speaking on, and teaching ideas that they haven't really used themselves, because, if they had, they would know that those ideas don't work - or at least not in the way they're portrayed.

An idea is a spark of possibility. Is it a possibility in the actual world? Can it work? Have you tried it out before passing it on?

When you come across a great idea, and your life has ample kindling in it, you'll know by the flame that leaps high that you have something worth sharing. And others will come to your light.

Foolishness

One of life's secrets is learning to distinguish between fun and folly. Silliness is the spice of life. Fun can be a great. Genuine foolishness isn't. But of course, many of us have heard clever people refer in a silly way to something fun as mere foolishness. And of course, some real foolishness does pretend to be simple fun. But, just as obviously, not all folly masquerades as silliness or levity. Some genuine foolishness hides itself under the guise of ambition, or behind a total misunderstanding of what proper self esteem, or healthy self love, involves. Taken literally, foolishness, or folly, is a seriously detrimental phenomenon in our lives.

If we could rid the world of all foolishness, anger, and hatred, what a different place it would be! And think about this for a moment: If we could just cause all the folly in life to vanish, then it would, as a result, be extremely hard for any anger or hatred to get a foothold. There wouldn't be nearly as much to get angry about.

We praise wisdom and seek it. We need to equally criticize folly and shun it. And, by some strange turn of events, we don't even give much time at all to identifying or understanding it. The concept of foolishness has even become something of an old fashioned notion, like virtue. And that's ... foolish for sure.

What is foolish? What would be prudent, or wise, instead? We need to understand such things clearly, not merely for philosophical purposes, but for living a good life.

What have you done that you now think was foolish? Why do you think of it now as such? Don't you wish we talked about such things more? Isn't it foolish not to?

Encouragement

We need to encourage each other more. Life is often hard. Our work can sometime seems like a long march up hill. We need support. We need a little cheerleading. A kind word. A moment of praise. A big smile. We need the spiritual fuel of encouragement. We all need to feel like people around us believe in us and are cheering us on. But most of all, we need to do that for others.

Are you an encourager? That's one of the noblest roles in life. By encouraging others along their proper paths, we contribute to the best in the world. In modern life, we easily become so fixated on our own challenges, opportunities, and successes. But a great part of my success in life can be my aid to others in helping them along to success. And the same is true for you.

Let's all work on the habit of encouragement. No doubt, the world needs critics. But it needs encouragers even more.

And if you've read all the way to this point, I'm encouraged.

The Spooky Sense

Can we know in ways that go beyond our understanding? Can we be guided by some mysterious sense of what's about to happen?

My father was carrying heavy bands of ammunition strapped all over his body. He was already a big target, at six feet three or four, taller than most of the men with him that day on Okinawa. Or was it Saipan? It had rained the day before, and as he walked toward enemy territory, he noticed a deep tire mark up ahead that a jeep or truck had made in the mud during the rainstorm, and that the rut had dried. As he approached it, and was going to pass just slightly to the right of the hole, he suddenly shifted his movement and put his left foot into it, a few inches down, as he took his next step forward, but for no conscious reason. The split second that he did this and his body, as a result, tilted to the left, a bullet whizzed by his right ear. Had he not stepped into the rut, the bullet would have gotten him in the head and he would have died on the spot, and - to make matters even worse, at least, from my point of view as a boy first hearing this account - I would never have been conceived or born. He told me this story several times. He always asked, "Why did I step into that hole?"

Let me now quote three short paragraphs from the book American Sniper. Chris Kyle reports:

One time we were in a building and we were hosed down by the insurgents outside. I was out in the hallway, and as the shooting died down, I went into one of the rooms to check on some of my guys. As I came in, I jerked straight back, falling backward as a shot came in through the window at my head.

The bullet just flew over me as I fell.

Why I went down like that, how I saw that bullet coming at me — I have no idea. It was almost as if someone slowed time down and pushed me straight back.

What is this? How does it work? We have senses like sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste. We also have one called proprioception - the sense that tells you the position of your body, the orientation of its parts in space, without your having to look, or run your hands over, say, an arm or leg to find out where it is. Every sense can be developed. Artists see in a distinctive way. Gourmet chefs taste with remarkable discernment. Great musicians can hear things that most of us miss. Top athletes and dancers and martial artists seem to have a vastly enhanced sense of proprioception. They are aware of the position and movement of their bodies in space in ways that escape the rest of us. 

But can proprioception go beyond the body? Can we sense the position of other objects in space around us, even then they're not connected to us in any obvious way?

I was eight or ten. My dad was throwing horse shoes in the back yard of our house. They were regulation iron or steel shoes. He had just thrown some down toward the stake in the ground farthest from the house, and I think he had gotten ringers. He then walked briskly down to fetch them and throw them back. He was about half way to the far stake, which was forty feet from the one where I was standing, when I reached down, picked up a shoe, and pitched it hard toward the other stake. Dad was off to the right about 4 or 5 feet off the course of the throw, as he was walking, so it was safe for me to pitch the shoe. But suddenly he crossed over to the left, not looking back to see that I had just thrown. It was going straight for his head. In that moment of my horrified realization about what was happening, he turned his head toward me, while simultaneously raising his left arm and hand ... and he caught the horse shoe mid air. No harm done. I was completely shocked. First, you don't catch flying iron horse shoes. But at that moment?

How does this spooky stuff work? There are some findings in the spookier areas of physics that seem to suggest that objects at a distance in our world are, however far apart, somehow also connected. Is there another dimensional grounding for everything, however different and distant things may seem in this realm of existence? Can we then put ourselves into a position where we are able to utilize this connection, perhaps through extended proprioception? And in other ways? Was that what my dad was doing? And Chris Kyle? But it's not always going on. Not even for the top champions, or for my father.

Scotty Pippin, or someone on the Chicago Bulls basketball team during their glory days with Michael Jordan, once was quoted as saying that during some rare games, time seemed to stand still and the ball would just go where it should be. No one was having to think to themselves, "Ok, Michael is about to get open, I should throw in about a second" or any such thing. There was this magical dance of perfect movement and timing and a flow experience of joyous participation which was almost indistinguishable from that of a spectator, but where looking and doing seemed to merge. It was all happening, as if by independent forces, and the players were caught up in a movement that just had its own flow. They knew without conscious awareness. They acted without deliberate effort.

What is this spooky sense that sometimes guides us, and positions us? And how can we gain more control over it? Is it possible to use it at will? Can this work in business? In life generally?

What do you think? Have you ever felt it, or seen it in action?

The American Sniper and You

A few days ago, I was flying to California for a talk in Napa Valley. I had a philosophy book with me to read along the way, but I wasn't really in the mood for analyzing and critiquing a complex argument. So I went into an airport bookstore in Charlotte, where I was changing planes. I had about 4 minutes to spare, so quickly scanned the nearest book table and saw American Sniper, the book on which the new movie is based.

I'm sure you know the story. Texas boy Chris Kyle worked hard and became a Navy SEAL, and ultimately the most prolific sniper in history. He was a legend. The book is his autobiography, with an emphasis on SEAL training, and his deployments into hot spots in the Middle East. It's a well written book, an absorbing tale, and a quick read, despite its nearly 500 pages.

The most surprising thing about the book is how much Kyle seemed to love his job, and, more generally, war. A sniper? Loving his job? But his job was killing people, right? Well, in his mind, his job was protecting his friends, and keeping the bad guys from killing the good guys. He came to see his adversaries as, for the most part, brutal, drugged up "savages" who seemed to have no shred of morality, civilization, or love for their fellow man. Their hearts had been so darkened by ignorance, ideology and violence that they could be stopped from their lust for killing in only one way. It was his job to see that this way was pursued vigorously and effectively.

I've written here before on what I've discovered about success in the works of the great practical philosophers throughout history and the fact that I've distilled their advice down to seven universal conditions. You may remember them. For true success in any challenging endeavor, we need (1) a clear CONCEPTION of what we want, (2) a strong CONFIDENCE that we can attain the goal we've set, (3) a focused CONCENTRATION on what it will take to get there, (4) a stubborn CONSISTENCY in pursuing our vision, (5) an emotional COMMITMENT to the importance of what we're doing, (6) a good CHARACTER to guide us and keep us on a proper course, and (7) a CAPACITY TO ENJOY the process along the way.

As you read American Sniper, it becomes clear that Chris Kyle lived each of these seven universal conditions, or what I call The 7 Cs of Success. The surprise to me was his wholehearted embrace of number seven, a CAPACITY TO ENJOY THE PROCESS. Initially, you say to yourself, "Who in the world could ever enjoy being a sniper? Aren't there just some jobs that can't possibly be enjoyed?" But then you read and ponder what Kyle says about his love for action, and battle, and doing his job well, and you begin to understand more deeply why he was the best at it who ever lived.

Now, if you're a pacifist, you may be insisting right now that no sniper could possibly satisfy the CHARACTER condition of The 7 Cs. But I'd take you back to Aristotle, who held that character involves such things as honesty and courage and a sense of humor amid difficulty. Chris displayed all such things. And you could continue through Aristotle's classic list of virtues and you'd still be able to tick off the boxes in this guy's life.

So if you are trying to live wisely and be successful and think that your job is so hard, or unpleasant, on some days, that you can't possibly satisfy the seventh condition of success, read this book and rethink it all. Like Marcus Aurelius once said, "Your life is what your thoughts make it." 

Excellence is hard. And it's tough to make it happen without commitment, character, and a capacity to enjoy the process, along with all the other conditions.

The Man in Black on Joy

I want to add something to what I wrote earlier this morning. First, again, one more quote from actor Will Smith:

The maximum joy that I have is when I can create something that makes someone else's life lighter, or brighter, or better.

To that, I can only say a loud, hearty, AMEN. 

I posted this earlier today, ending with the amen. I think I want to add a bit more. What Will Smith is talking about is creative love, or loving creativity, which I presented as the meaning of life in a chapter on Business and Meaning in the book If Aristotle Ran General Motors, back in 1997. You would not believe how many people have written me over the years about that chapter, saying that it's the most important chapter in any book on business they've ever read. Some say it's the most important chapter, period. And that knocks me out, and gives me a sense of great satisfaction. Because in that chapter, I was seeking to gather together what I considered all the world's best wisdom on meaning and dig deep to the root and then distill it all down to something that would be both simple and powerful. And that became:

Creative love. Loving Creativity.

That's why we're here. That's what everything we do should embody. And that's where joy comes from. It's all connected. If you want to ruminate on this more, If Aristotle is widely available in paperback, and the first edition hardcover is still floating around used, and there's an ebook available at Zolabooks.com.

Old Age: Sneak. Thief. Guide.

If you live long enough, old age will some day begin to sneak up on you. There's a pain here, a strain there. Some food you've always loved starts bothering you. Too much cabernet or champagne will suddenly make you snore. Or at least, if other people's reports are to be trusted. It doesn't all happen at once. And each thing, in itself, can normally be explained away. 

What makes old age such a sneaky thief is that when it starts to take things away from you, it typically most often brings them back - at least, at first, and for a time. You're hobbling around with a back injury, unable to do your normal stuff. And then a few days or a few weeks later, the pain goes away. The stiffness disappears. Oh, Ok. I'm fine.

Or age takes away, bit by bit, your natural ability to sleep solidly through the night. You have lots of fitful evenings. You're exhausted. And maybe cranky. And then you have one or two or more deep slumbers again. Oh, Ok. I'm fine. It was just the full moon, or the dog moving around too much, or those neighbors, or that spicy burger.

That's what makes old age so tricky. It takes away and then often gives back, and it's typically so subtle about its depredations that you can almost always, for a while, blame something else. 

Now, I'm saying this as a youth of 62. I'm stronger than I've ever been in my life, and vigorous and energetic in almost every possible way. And yet, when I go crazy in the gym, it's easier to mess up that rotor cuff, or those hip flexors, and then I'm semi-benched for a while, until I come back, full force, but a little more cautious. My greatest strength and weakness at once is that I'm a person of extremes. And youthful resilience will tolerate extremes that middle age, and the early onset of maturity may not so readily indulge.

I have a friend who at 92 just published his memoir and has been on book tour promoting the autobiography on most of the major talk shows. He gives me hope. But he may even slow down in ten or twenty years. Most of his peers are already not as full of life and energy.

It looks like old age is going to eventually take away pretty much everything we have. It will take away beauty and power and all sorts of possibilities. In some cases, it seems to rob people of most everything they are, at least in this world. And yet, that's an important qualification. There's a wild option here.

In the end, it may be that old age isn't just a liar and a thief of the worst sort. Maybe it's a teacher and a guide. We say it has its compensations. And wisdom can certainly be one of them. But maybe this thing called wisdom goes far deeper than we suspect, and part of the wisdom that age has to convey to us is the realization that we need to shed a lot of the baggage of this world before transitioning to a new adventure in the next one.

Some may object that part of the baggage that age has helped them shed already is such a belief that there is something more. And in their journey, perhaps, that shedding in its own way has helped in their preparation for what does indeed come next. But it's my view that they'll be surprised. They think nothing is on the horizon. I suspect something big is. And I realize we can't both be right. But I can't help but feel that I am.

Age. I'll still wrestle with the joker, while laughing at his pranks. And the more I fight him, the more I'll get of him, if I'm successful. But of course, in the end, I can't win, because there is an end. Or, wait. What if somehow we both win, in the end, age and I, if we do it just right? Maybe old age is the guide it needs to be, in many ways - if we take the right attitude about dealing with it.

I know, I'm still young. But we need to plan ahead.

Age well, my friends.

Will Smith, on Success and Love.

We've all seen him in the movies. We've heard his music. Some of us first discovered him on television. But now, as the new interview with Scott Raab in the current issue of Esquire makes clear, Will Smith has become a philosopher.

Reflecting on his career, he describes something that many of us have felt.

I always thought there was some place I was going, that there was some success or some achievement or some box-office number that was going to fill the hole. And what I realize is that life is a hole. It's a process of continually trying to find and reinvent myself. I'm the type of person who is always going to be somewhat dissatisfied with myself. I'm never going to be smart enough. I'm never going to be a good enough father. I'm never going to be a good enough husband. I'm never going to be a good enough actor for myself. I just never will be, and I have to get comfortable with waking up every day and trying to move some little increment closer to the person I have always dreamed of being.

Lesson Number One: Even being a huge star and celebrity, with great wealth and social power won't complete us. Yeah, we knew that. But we have to be reminded, now and then, to keep us from fruitlessly chasing our own versions of this, in our own efforts to "fill the hole."

Later on, he talks about a movie that failed at the box office and what he felt when he got the very bad numbers. 

And that Monday started the new phase of my life, a new concept: Only love is going to fill that hole. You can't win enough, you can't have enough money, you can't succeed enough. There is not enough. The only thing that will ever satiate that existential thirst is love. And I just remember that day I made the shift from wanting to be a winner to wanting to have the most powerful, deep, and beautiful relationships I could possibly have.

Lesson Number Two: If we define success in isolation from love and relationships, we'll never be satisfied or happy. We need to start at the core of who we are as human beings. And that core is supposed to be all about love. When we use that as our foundation, we can build a life that matters and a success that's not only real, but that feels deep and true and fulfilling.

A friend of mine named Matt Ham has just written a book all about that. It's called Redefine Rich, and is well worth a read. It offers a diagnosis and a reminder that we all need.

Love first. All else, second.

Urgent Valentine Advice

Guys, this is for you. Ladies, please pass it on to any significant other or clueless man you think could use it. Quickly.

I decided in the early days of knowing my wife that I'd have a theme for the special Valentine's Day gifts I'd buy her every year. My theme would be Red. I'd get her something red for this special celebration each time around. That was it. Very simple. And, themes are good, right?

There's always a red enamel bracelet to be found, or a cute red T shirt or sweater. Red shoes are nice. A ruby anything is always appreciated. A bright red Prada bag can be a hit, as I discovered one year by sheer luck. And, yeah, sports cars do come in that color, too. But let's not get carried away. 

I'm writing to you today for a very important reason. Over the years, I have learned something vital about gifts appropriate to the occasion.

You can't always go with your first instincts on these things, as I've found out the hard way. Not every red gift works. The bright red Swiss Army Knife didn't quite cut it, after all, as I had imagined it would. I ended up explaining at great length all the cool things she could do with it - other than stabbing me, of course. And I hate to even mention this - I suppose I should promise I'm not kidding - but the novelty store wind-up chattering white teeth with very red plastic lips and gums didn't evoke quite the level and warmth of unrestrained merriment that I was aiming for, either.

Rule One. Think this thing through in advance.

Rule Two: If the gift will take ANY AMOUNT OF EXPLAINING, get another one. The romance holiday of the year is not a good time for explaining - an activity most of us engage in mainly when we're in trouble and something has gone badly wrong.

Rule Three: If you're even thinking about a funny gift, examine all facets of the potential humor or lack thereof. Again, this might not be the occasion for bold risk taking of this particular sort. It can work, but tread carefully.

My ultimate lesson about all this was the year I thought I was really showing ultimate love and concern by getting my wife something for her safety in the kitchen. Again, gentlemen: Take Note.

Rule Four: Kitchen gifts are not generally ideal for Valentine's Day. It's maybe not the right message, regardless of your sterling intentions. A older friend bought his wife what he thought was a super nice personal gift - the very best, top of the line frying pan he could find, with no expense spared. And, as he later reported to me, "She cried a lot, but not in a good way."

If you even consider anything practical, you might want to get a really nice card instead. And champagne. Or a nice Spanish Cava. Otherwise, you're in danger of entering the territory of Platonic Love, and I'm guessing that's not the philosophical consequence you want on this particular day.

My ultimate lesson came about as a result of what I thought was incredible creativity on my part. I bought my wife a bright red fire extinguisher for kitchen use - to show, as I've mentioned, my love and concern for her safety. And I have to tell you, it put out the fire in ways I had not anticipated. Honestly, it never occurred to me that this particular gift might be taken as a commentary on her culinary skills, which are, I should add, exceptionally excellent.

Please let me repeat myself on this one. It's not a day to go for practical. And in relation to this particular holiday, forget that you even have a kitchen unless YOU plan to cook in it and clean up perfectly afterwards.

It's not too late to take back that well intentioned practical item you've already gotten that even monumental explaining won't make work.

Remember, my friends: It's all about showing love in a way that your special person will immediately see as a show of love, and one that's not about you or what you love.

And, now that I say this, maybe I need to go back and do a little more shopping.

Happy Love Day in Advance.

Philosophical Tools

What is a tool? At the simplest level, it's some sort of object or item that helps us to extend our natural powers and accomplish something that we otherwise could not do, or at least could not achieve with the same ease, or speed, or safety that the tool, well used, can provide. A hammer. A screwdriver. A saw. A knife. A wrench. These are, of course, obvious examples. Other suggestions could be: A laptop. A smart phone. A bicycle. A car. A business. An organization of any sort. But there are other tools that are, perhaps, the most important of all for getting things done.

I'm apparently a rare type of philosopher, at least, these days. My job is to discover and create intellectual tools that people can use to improve their businesses and their lives. My specialty is that I'm a provider of philosophical tools for excellence. When you're working on a project around the house, you need the right tools to get the job done well. The same is true more generally of work and your personal life. You need the right tools for whatever job you face. A philosophical tool is just an idea or set of ideas that will help you to think, feel, and act in more productive and healthy ways, in whatever you're doing. 

When I speak on success, I provide a toolkit drawn from the great practical philosophers of the past, a framework of ideas that I call "The 7 Cs of Success." When I talk about great teamwork, strong organizations, and customer loyalty, I bring people an additional toolkit that I call "The Four Foundations of Excellence." If I'm asked to help a company, or the members of an industry association, deal with difficult change, I bring them another toolkit - "The 3 Arts of Change." In every case, I'm putting into people's hands, or minds, tools that they can use to extend their natural powers and accomplish something they might not otherwise be able to do, or at least could not achieve with the same ease, or speed, or safety. And that's what makes my work so satisfying. I'm in the business of helping people to obtain and use the tools of excellence.

What philosophical tools do you use at work and in life? They should be well designed, finely calibrated, and durable. I hope you have some good ones that you use on a regular basis. If not, keep reading these blogs. I'll be describing great new tools, and some useful ancient ones, now and then.

If you're in a leadership position, consider this: What tools are your team members, or the people in your company, overall, using? Are they of high quality? Does everyone have the same access to the toolbox? Those factors are vital for maximal results.

For more on the tools I have mentioned, consult the Talks page on www.TomVMorris.com, or the Books page, where you can click to gain access to any of these ideas you haven't already come across. And check back. I'm always on the hunt for a new tool that will work for me, and for you!

The Blowtorch Mistake

Don't use a blowtorch to light your cigar. You know the problem. It's the same as swatting a fly with a sledgehammer. I prefer to open the door and let it out. But that's another issue. The problem I want to focus on now is that of using the wrong tool for a job, and one that's far too sweeping or powerful for the precise need you have.

Consider the common problem of anxiety. Any focused form of anxiety typically arises out of a belief or expectation that one or more of our desires will not be satisfied. You want to get the deal or ace the exam and you're afraid you won't. You hope to win the new client or get a standing ovation, and worry that you'll fail. 

We aim for something high, and fear the world may give us only something low. That's what I like to call the disappointment gap. It's possible that what happens will be greatly disappointing. So we get nervous or grow anxious.

Some extremist philosophers historically have said, "Shed all your beliefs, and you'll shed your anxiety." Others haver counseled, "Get rid of all desires, and you'll get rid of your anxiety." But either of those strategies is lighting your cigar with a blowtorch. It's not necessary. It's going too far. And it's dangerous in its own way.

The middle path is simpler. I think you're in trouble if you believe too much or believe too little. I'm convinced that it's a problem if you desire too much or desire too little. The key is having the right beliefs and the right desires, and using your mind properly in your governance of your beliefs, your desires, and your actions. That advice won't fit easily onto a bumper sticker. But neither will your life.

And the more general advice here is in fact simple. Use the right tool for the right job. And you can slap that one on the bumper with so much glue that it will take a blowtorch to get it off.

A General Observation on Self Knowledge

I was talking to a United States Army general the other night, very late. Two stars. He was an impressive individual. And the fact that our conversation was taking place within the environment of a dream didn't detract in the least from its impact. I've met several generals in waking life, and they've always been interesting people. This gentleman was no different.

I remember vividly that he said to me, "I don't go in for a lot of self-examination. There's no time."

That gave me a chance to present my own view that in the opinion of most philosophers I know, or have studied, self examination is not some leisurely activity carried out over long stretches of time within the echo chamber of your mind, as you sit silently and ask yourself about yourself, analyzing the answers and probing deeper. It's mostly about awareness as you decide and act.

No one gets to know himself or herself well just by sitting alone in a room and pondering. That's not a snapshot that typically captures well who you are. It's life in the field that's the proper classroom for self examination and self knowledge. What mattered so much to Socrates is that we not let ourselves get by with prejudices, sloppy thinking, or vague assumptions as we dash through life. If you find yourself thinking you have no time to question yourself, then contemplate how much time you have to make big mistakes - sometimes huge ones - due to any unexamined tendencies, beliefs, or feelings that you might think you prefer not to know about.

You don't need to take a retreat from the fray in order to engage in the philosophical procedure of self examination. You just have to experience moments, or bursts, of self reflective awareness punctuating your active life. There's even a level of such awareness that can accompany most activities, at least much of the time. And such an alertness to our own conduct can yield great results. We can take note of our tendencies, remembering our strengths and weaknesses, as well as any limitation we discover that may or may not be a weakness. Self examination when done properly positions us to be better team members, and much better leaders.

A leader without self knowledge sits in command of a rudderless boat.

Everyone has the time for self examination and self knowledge. That's my general observation for the day. At ease.

The Power of Kindness

In a world of bristling egos, kindness can sometimes seem as quaint as it is rare. We're in a hurry, and have to get things done. We confront obstacles, irritants, and demands. There's little time to pause and recognize a need and then go to the trouble of treating someone else kindly. As I've heard it asked, recently: "Who's got the bandwidth for that?"

We all do. And we ignore kindness to our own detriment. Whether you believe it's a quality that reflects our Creator, or you think it's a strange and wonderful anomaly in a universe of particles and energies, if you look deeply enough, you can see that it's a nearly magical elixir for great relationships and inner peace.

Do you want to get a lot done? Do you even aspire to the excellent, the exceptional, the extraordinary? Surround yourself with great people. And treat them with justice, fairness, and kindness. Truly great people will do the same thing, themselves. And your work together will flourish.

Kindness is the extra, supererogatory "beyond" - an overflow of goodness that takes place beyond the demands of duty, and occurs only as a manifestation of love. It plants the seeds of great relationships and then nurtures them into a full flowering. It resonates in the heart.

When you contrast the soul of an irate or callous individual with that of a person filled with kindness, you find a clash and disparity no greater than which can be conceived.

And here's a secret. Kindness toward others is, perhaps, the greatest form of kindness toward yourself. When peace is given, it grows within. When love is given, it grows within. The small kindnesses of life obey a mathematics not imagined by the unjust and surly among us. Their consequences multiply beyond any reasonable expectation. Those often quiet actions make for great business teams, sports organizations, schools, neighborhoods, and families. They are a hidden source of excellence in all our endeavors.

Kindness has power. And as one of Shakespeare's characters says about mercy, it's always twice blessed - it blesses him that gives and him that takes. And the great surprise is this. The more you give, the more then is given for you to take. That's the power of kindness.

The Secret of Time Management

One of the greatest challenges in life is to manage our time well. And we can’t do that unless we manage our emotions well. That, in turn, requires managing our thoughts. 

Most people seem to assume that our thoughts and emotions just come to us, and we have no control over them. But the truth is that we can have great control over them. And yet, like many things, mental and emotional self control is an art, a skilled activity. We get better at it by practicing it. Conversely, if we don't practice it, we won't be very good at it. And we'll find that we're often wasting our time.

When we govern our thoughts properly, that allows us to do the same with our emotions. And since philosophers and psychologists have long understood that it’s mostly our emotions that cause us to make our decisions, choosing this activity rather than that one, saying yes to this and no to that, then governing our emotions well allows us to govern our time well. 

The busier you get, the more you realize the importance of this.

Emotional Sunburn

When a small problem comes along and makes a grab for your emotions, do you give it power or refuse it power? 

Many people walk around with the emotional version of severely sunburned skin - contact with almost anything will cause them upset, distress, or even pain. They're always getting worked up about little things, except that if you asked them, they wouldn't ever acknowledge that any of their problems is little. "What are you talking about? This is HUGE!" Such a person manufactures drama out of whatever is available, while actually thinking that it's other people who are causing it.

There is a better way to live. You can rise above the fray, keep calm, and stick to the high road. It's up to you. With the right mindset, you can utterly ignore what others see as slights, insults, provocations, schemes, and even threats. With the right way of thinking, you don't give little irritants the power to bother you. It's all about perspective, and a measure of inner peace.

As the stoics taught us, it's always up to us how we interpret the world. We can blame external events for how we feel, but it's in every case our own opinions about those events that are to blame.

Your world isn't responsible for your feelings. Change your mind, and you change your world, in just the right way as to free your emotional life for truly bigger and better things.

Take a deep breath. Smile. Release the initial worry or irritation or anger. Rise above it. It's in your power. And it's the only way to prevent that sunburn.

A Lesson From American Idol

The other night, I was watching the first round of American Idol auditions in Hollywood. Yeah, philosophers have to take some time off, too, like everybody else. And one thing was clear from the segment. No amount of talent will show through clearly if jangled nerves get in the way. People who had been great in local auditions were close to choking in Hollywood. They forgot the words, or wandered off pitch. Some looked horrified just to be on stage. And there they were, chasing their dream, with a real chance to see it come true - if they could perform at their best. And many couldn't. The judges actually pointed out the problem. Everyone was too much on edge. They needed to shed the dread and relax a bit.

And here's the irony. We get nervous because we care. But because we care, we have to release the anxiety and learn how to have fun doing the job.

Long ago, before walking onto a stage in front of a hundred or a thousand people, or often a great many more, I would feel my heart rate increase and I'd say to myself, "Oh. I'm getting nervous." Then, one day, I learned to say instead, "Ok. I'm getting ready." The first interpretation of what I was feeling always concerned me and made things worse. The new interpretation will always boost me and makes things better. 

So when you're about to do something you really care about, try what I do. Don't get nervous. Get ready.

Worst Case Scenario Thinking

Worst case scenario thinking is healthy, worst case scenario believing is not. And there's an important difference. Prudence in life requires that we understand the ways in which things could go wrong, and have some idea as to what we would do if they did. That's worst case scenario thinking. We imagine various negative scenarios enough to prepare for them, but no more than that. Too much imagination can actually become anticipation, and that easily can turn into belief.

When I was a teenager, my father used to tell me stories about effective worst case scenario thinking. A dump truck driver had imagined what would happen if the bed of the truck was in the up position and there was a catastrophic failure causing it to fall onto the cab. He had visualized jumping into the floorboard to keep from being crushed. And then one day it happened. And he was unhurt, because he instantly had done exactly what he had imagined.

At its best, worst case scenario thinking is a form of "what if" planning. It prepares us for remote possibilities, and thereby helps us to avoid the most damaging consequences that could otherwise ensue. As such, it's actually a way of building confidence and assurance, rather than anxiety. But at its worst, the same sort of thinking can become both believing and fearing. Out of control, it unhinges us and impedes our performance. It's up to use to use it in the best way, and avoid the worst case scenario with it.

Passion and Performance

Passion drives performance like nothing else, in business, and in life. What do you care about most deeply? What enlivens you? What awakens you? What form of work or service feels like play? What gives you a sense of mission or purpose? That's what you need to be doing. It's tough in life to settle for anything less.

Yeah, I know that the cynics will reply, "Passion can't pay the bills." And passionate mediocrity is just bad on a bigger scale. Sometimes, our greatest loves have to be hobbies. I get it. We all have limitations, commitments, and various other realities to deal with. But a truth still stands. When you can pick your passion as your primary purpose, you can often fly high.

This week I've written once before about a really nice book I've been reading, The Work: My Search for a Life That Matters, by Wes Moore. Today, I want to quote him again. On page 120, he writes:

One thing I began to realize in my travels was that everyone I met who was truly successful - whether in business, in philanthropic work,  in human rights, in government, or in raising a family - shared one common trait: they were fanatically passionate about the work they did. They breathed it. They needed it. It was their lifeblood.

He then goes on to challenge us:

Really, think about it: name one person in your own life who fits the description of unassailable success who is not driven by that kind of clarifying passion.

I'm not sure I would have used the word 'fanatical' but, that caveat aside, I agree wholeheartedly with what Moore says here. Tremendous passion tends to drive tremendous results. In the 1600s, Blaise Pascal wrote, "The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing." The heart, the core of our emotion, and passion, the metaphorical organ of enthusiasm and positive energy, has reasons and powers that intellect alone can't match.

The more heart we can bring to our work, the more passion and commitment and enthusiasm, the more likely we'll make that work into a masterpiece of service, or performance, and a real gift to those around us. Why should we settle for anything less?