Our Need to Read the Iliad

When you read a classic more than once, you can come to realize in a new way why it's a classic. I just finished my second reading this year of Homer's Iliad, an ancient tale about the tenth year of the Trojan War. And it's actually all about ego and anger. Plus, it's really good and it’s full of lessons we need today.

An older Greek king, Menelaus, has a young and beautiful trophy wife, Helen. Ego. A handsome young prince from Troy named Paris visits them and seeks to seduce Helen. Ego again. She enjoys the attention from this gorgeous man and accepts his advances. Ego. They run away to Troy and Menelaus, rather than realizing his mistake in the mismatch, gathers a huge army to go and get Helen and bring her back. Big Ego and it's almost inevitable pal, Anger.

But this is all backstory. The real tale opens with Agamemnon, the brother of Menelaus, who has become leader of all the assembled Greek forces besieging Troy. The battle has lasted nine years. And Agamemnon, in his own ego and bloated sense of self entitlement, decides that he hasn't had enough of the spoils from this war so far for his own enjoyment. He's irritated. Ego and Anger. He's had his eye on a ravishing beauty earlier given to Achilles, the greatest of the warriors. And so he decides to take her for himself, apparently unaware that he's just repeating what Paris did to Menelaus with Helen. Unfortunate Ego. A god keeps Achilles from just killing the man on the spot and guides him to comply with his leader's demand. Agamemnon is the top commander, after all. So the great warrior goes along with the unjust order, but in a rage. Bad Anger to the Max. His rights and deserved glory have been violated. Ego all over the place. So he vows to fight no more, and allow his fellow Greeks to be killed en masse until they appreciate anew how great and needed he is.

Fast forward: Thousands die. Without Achilles, the Greeks and Trojans are evenly matched, and whenever they're not, the gods get involved on one side then the other. The balance keeps changing, yet always lives are lost. But Agamemnon won't relent and admit he was wrong. And neither will Achilles. It's a battle of the egos and their anger. That's the deeper war fought at Troy.

But when far too many of his favorites die and he feels the disaster's pain, Agamemnon finally decides he needs to bribe Achilles to come back and fight for the cause. He'll return the woman, and add in lots and lots of treasure to appeal to the ego needs of Achilles. The warrior refuses. But then his BFF, Patroclus, begs Achilles to let him put on the great man's armor and appear on the battlefield where the Trojans might think Achilles himself is back, and flee in panic. The charade takes place and after killing lots of the enemy, Patroclus is killed by Hector, chief warrior among the Trojans. And of course, Achilles has to take revenge and kill him, then dishonor his body in the most outrageous ways. Ego beyond the pale once more. And the band plays on.

Our lesson: The bloated egos of a few can create disaster for many. As further confirmation, check the daily news.

For one easily accessible version of the classic, click HERE.

Anger in Our Time

What's the Number One emotion or attitude right now around the world? If we can trust at least a modicum of what we see and hear across all media these days, it just might be anger, followed at some distance by anxiety. Frustration is common. Disillusionment is widespread, but it's anger that seems to reign supreme in certain geographic areas of the globe, and closer to home in our own political climate. This emotion isn't a fount of hope, a typical building block of success or happiness. And yet, it's everywhere. And it seems that those who harbor it want to inflame it in others. Why?

First, I should acknowledge that there's nothing intrinsically wrong with anger. As Aristotle told us long ago, its rationality is all about such questions as "toward whom, for what reason, in what measure, for how long, and to what end?" Righteous indignation is proper toward the harming of the innocent. I can't imagine a persuasive moral tradition that reserves all judgment and urges us to accept even the worst, most vicious conduct. But, as Aristotle's questions suggest, in order to be reasonable, productive, and even healthy, anger needs to be the temporary reaction to a particular situation that goads us into solving the problem ingredient in that situation, and thus improving things for the better, overall.

Anger that's ongoing is corrosive and destructive. It's a poison. And yet, if a current sampling of Twitter and Facebook provides any reliable indication, there are many people who actually seem to embrace it and relish it in their lives.

C.S. Lewis had this wonderful little story in a book called The Great Divorce, where people in hell are given a bus trip to heaven, where they can look around as tourists. The surprise is that, if they like what they see, they're invited to relocate. The only condition is that they have to give up whatever "sin" or moral flaw kept them out of heaven in the first place. If it was bitterness, or resentment, they have to let it go and put it away for good. If it's greed, or unbridled ambition, they'd have to say goodbye to that. And if it's old fashioned anger as a way of life, they'd simply have to renounce it, cease to fan its flames, and turn away from it as their mode of existence. The surprise is that many people can't manage to accept the offer, however much they seem to value it. Their besetting sins have just become too important to them. They've said, in effect, "Evil, be thou my good." They've grown accustomed to some counterfeit of happiness, and can't let it go, even when faced with the real thing.

How could this be? I've known people of whom it was true. You may have, as well. It's hard for us to experience such negative emotions as disappointment, frustration, despondency, and discouragement. Such emotions can be a swamp, a bog for the soul. When our hopes seem to have been dashed, we often can't stand to endure those victim emotions, feelings that just seem to make our plight worse. So we transform the disappointment or discouragement into anger. We lash out at someone or something outside ourselves as the source of our problems, the cause. We're good. They're bad. And directing our ire outwardly is cathartic. We release all that pent-up energy, throwing it toward someone else. And when we can do so as a group endeavor, it's even better. Misery loves company the most when the crowd all joins together in confirming and reinforcing the anger that's substituted for all those other, harder, emotions. The irate growl together, almost as a sporting crowd would cheer together. And they're actually cheering their own substitution state for those more difficult emotions, or for the yet harder work that actually addressing the challenging situation might require.

The great philosophers join together in recommending that we not do this. Moreover, many suggest that we have compassion for those around us who are choosing this false path. They are taking themselves down a road that doesn't lead to heaven, but to a very different place instead. And they're cultivating a comfort with counterfeits that may one day rob them of their true capacity to love and live in a fulfilled, successful, and even happy way.

So as we see so many fanning the flames of fury around us, we are wise to refuse that road ourselves, and instead work to rectify the sources of the problems that we can, eventually, solve.

When Things Go Wrong

We live in a world where things often go wrong. In fact, you can divide all of your life into three basic kinds of time segments:

1. The time when you're waiting for something to happen, wanting it to happen, and perhaps doing all you can to make it happen,

2. The time when it either happens, and you're glad, maybe even elated, or perhaps relieved, or else,

3. The time when it was supposed to happen and didn't, and you're either sad, or mad, discouraged, or even worse.

In the book by Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha, published in 1922, which I wrote about yesterday, there's one very interesting story. The young man Siddhartha is working for a very successful and wealthy businessman. The rich man is always worried about something, or angry when anything doesn't go right. Siddhartha is never worried or angry. He treats business like a sport to play, and in a very pure way, where he simply enjoys the playing, without any concern about who wins or loses. And because of his attitude, he wins much more often than he loses.

One day, he makes a trip to a distant town where he's hoping to purchase a crop that he and his partner can then resell for a major profit. But when he arrives at the town, he learns the deal has already been made, with someone else. Rather than reacting with sadness, anger, frustration, irritation, regret, resentment, concern or worry, fuming that he's wasted all the time and energy of travel for nothing, he quickly turns nothing into something. He meets the people of the town and gets to know them. He visits with them, eats with them, and plays with their children. He has a wonderful time making new friends with those who will probably now very much want to do business with him in the future. His older partner wouldn't likely have done any of this, but would typically have stormed off in a huff, furious that he'd missed the great opportunity he'd pursued.

A CEO once told me that it's his job to worry. And from what I could see, he does it very well. But is that really a mission critical job? What does his worry accomplish that simple planning, checking, and exercising vigilant care couldn't do? I can't see how the worry, the tension of anxiety, adds anything to the mix of productive endeavor. Most negative emotions, in most situations, are the same. Our hero, Siddhartha, by not worrying or allowing any negative emotions to overtake him, was easily able to turn nothing into something. He showed how we can all be opportunistic in a very positive way, at those times when things initially don't seem to go our way, and, in fact, in almost any situation in which we find ourselves. We can deal positively and creatively with whatever happens, and make the best of it.

And I can't think of anything better than that.

Emotional Sunburn

When a small problem comes along and makes a grab for your emotions, do you give it power or refuse it power? 

Many people walk around with the emotional version of severely sunburned skin - contact with almost anything will cause them upset, distress, or even pain. They're always getting worked up about little things, except that if you asked them, they wouldn't ever acknowledge that any of their problems is little. "What are you talking about? This is HUGE!" Such a person manufactures drama out of whatever is available, while actually thinking that it's other people who are causing it.

There is a better way to live. You can rise above the fray, keep calm, and stick to the high road. It's up to you. With the right mindset, you can utterly ignore what others see as slights, insults, provocations, schemes, and even threats. With the right way of thinking, you don't give little irritants the power to bother you. It's all about perspective, and a measure of inner peace.

As the stoics taught us, it's always up to us how we interpret the world. We can blame external events for how we feel, but it's in every case our own opinions about those events that are to blame.

Your world isn't responsible for your feelings. Change your mind, and you change your world, in just the right way as to free your emotional life for truly bigger and better things.

Take a deep breath. Smile. Release the initial worry or irritation or anger. Rise above it. It's in your power. And it's the only way to prevent that sunburn.

Stoic Joy. Natural Joy.

In preparation for a trip across the country not long ago, I did something I rarely do: I took one of my own books along to read. It was The Stoic Art of Living: Inner Resilience and Outer Results. It was published ten years ago, and I had not re read it since the early days after it first appeared on bookstore shelves. I tried to approach it objectively, as I would any book. And I have to admit that I really enjoyed it! I had forgotten various little discoveries I had made when I first wrote the original draft of the book, going back almost twenty years. The top three Roman stoics, the slave Epictetus, the prominent lawyer Seneca, and Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius had great and practical insights about life that can tremendously enhance our experience of the world today. Their wisdom, at its best, will never go out of style.

The stoics had many perspectives that can help us. Inner resilience is the best path for outer results. Things are not often what they seem. Most of our difficulties come not from the world, but from how we think about things in the world. Nothing can truly harm a good person. By changing our thoughts, we can change our lives. Nothing is to be feared. And I could go on. But, to me, perhaps chief among their insights was the claim that joy is our natural state.

Think about that for a second. Joy is our natural state. If any stoic philosopher was right in thinking this, then either you are experiencing joy right now, or there is some unnatural, unnecessary obstacle in your life blocking that joy, and it's an obstacle you can remove.

If you are, right now, in a state of joy, congratulations. If you aren't, then you should be asking yourself what's getting in the way. What's blocking you from the state of mind that should be your natural default setting? The possibilities are many. And you can't do anything about the ones operative in your life right now until you can identify them. The stoics were confident that, whatever the obstacles might be, you can eliminate them through controlling your emotions, and in turn, you can do that by controlling your thoughts. It's just that simple.

The stoics were philosophers who wanted to help us peel back the worry and anger, the suffering and agitation, the distraction and confusion that too often rules our lives, and get back to the natural state of joy. When we experience that natural joy, we flow forward with all the power that we're meant to have in this life. And that's the power, in the deepest sense, of love.

What's keeping us from it?

Insult, Offense, and Rage

Contrary to apparently widespread opinion, it’s not possible to insult, offend, demean, or disparage a great leader, prophet, religion, nation, or individual. It’s easy, of course, to insult and enrage lesser people. Many seem prepared to take umbrage at nearly anything. But true greatness is in this distinct way completely untouchable. The target is too far from its detractors. Any arrow of invective or caricature will fall short.
 
Public events of recent days and decades can seem to indicate the opposite. A movie is announced to be an offense and an insult to a revered leader, or to an entire swath of the human population. A cartoon, a video, or a passage in a book can be said to have committed a grievous injury that must be avenged “by all means necessary.”
 
The problem is that all this rage and reaction is based on a faulty understanding of the very notions of insult and offense that are being used to explain and justify the responses of anger, threat, and violence that seem so enormously out of proportion to whatever incited the response.
 
You just can’t claim with logical consistency both that your leader, or nation, or cause is great, and that he, she, or it has been insulted, offended, or demeaned by any words or works of art. It’s literally impossible to successfully insult, offend, demean, or disparage real greatness.
 
There’s an old proverb: The lordly lion ignores the yapping of small dogs. This is an image of a philosophical insight. Greatness has, within itself, its own intrinsic honor and worthiness of respect. When it’s not shown that respect, a wrong is done, not to the great person, nation, movement or religion being attacked, but both by and to and in the one communicating the disrespect. With anything other than greatness, however, things are quite different. But true greatness has an essential immunity to such diminishment.
 
Socrates believed that others could harm us only physically. We alone are capable of hurting and demeaning ourselves spiritually. He was also convinced that the worst efforts of lesser men could never do genuine harm to the souls of greater men, however they might contrive to inflict that damage.
 
Of course, there’s often a dynamic of insult, offense, and rage within businesses and industries, as well as within cultures. And far too much energy is wasted on these things. Any who react with anger and even rage to such perceived wounds need to engage in the age-old enterprise of self-examination. Are they defending their honor, or their great mentor’s honor? True honor needs no such defense. It’s fine, as it is. Once they understand this, then, perhaps, they'll be able to discover what's really going on in their own hearts and minds, and make some changes that can result in something philosophically and emotionally healthier.
 

Heavy and Hot Emotions

Why are there so many angry people in the world? At the gym the other day, some of us were talking about this. And I have a simple hypothesis. Anger is often an avoidance response.

Here's what I mean: Many people who express anger over little things, or even for no apparent reason at all, are subconsciously attempting to deflect an experience of certain other emotions that they will do almost anything to avoid.

This is the idea. There are certain heavy emotions like sadness, grief, disappointment, anxiety, discouragement, fear, and guilt. Such feelings can weigh on us. They can bring us down. We can be terribly oppressed by them. And when we acknowledge and express these emotions, that often just makes us feel worse. We wallow. We're stricken. We're crushed even lower.

And, on another side of the negativity spectrum, there are hot emotions like frustration, irritation, and - most of all - anger. When you express these emotions, it can be cathartic. You release the negative energy. You get it out. You stomp your foot, or throw a book, or punch a pillow. You curse. You send the power of the feelings through your voice or limbs and actively discharge it out into the world where you think it can't hurt you. Well, maybe you don't do this, but many people do.

You may know people who act like this all the time. In a situation where another person in their place would be feeling bad, or sad, or anxious, they instead turn the tables and attack someone who happens to be nearby, and often for transparently bogus reasons. But by doing this, they send any unpleasant inner energy they might be feeling out into the world for other people to deal with. They've transformed their guilt into offense, or their anxiety into rage. There's nothing wrong with them, they think. It's you, or the boss, or the neighbor, or the colleague, or the so-called friend who's just a jerk and the only source of any real problems in the situation.

It seems like many people won't allow themselves an authentic experience of the heavy emotions and, to avoid one or more of them, will deflect and externalize in these ways, instead. So, when you find yourself in the midst of an explosion of some hot emotion on the part of anyone close to you, and you can't figure out how it makes any sense in context, or in its degree or focus, consider that it may simply be avoidance behavior. It may be deflecting something deeper and too heavy to bear. And then, the only effective way to respond is to try to help your irate friend identify and deal with the real source of the problem, to the extent that he or she will let you. Otherwise, just let it go. It's not really about you, or the boss, or the neighbor, at all.

At least, that's my opinion as a simple philosopher utterly untrained in psychology, or psychiatry, or any of the disciplines that would actually cost you something to consult on such an issue. But then again, as they say, you get what you pay for. And if you disagree with me, just don't get hot about it. Ok?

Anger. Grrrrr.

How often do you feel angry? I hope it's a rare experience. Aristotle taught us that there's nothing intrinsically wrong with this emotion. It can be rational and appropriate, but only with the right reason, toward the right object, in the right measure, and for the right amount of time. Anger toward an injustice can rouse us to work to stop it. It can light our fuse and get us moving. But if it continues to burn, then we're going to be the ones incinerated by it.

Frequent anger is corrosive to the soul. It's a poison. And we need to understand it better in order to avoid it more.

Anger often arises from fear or frustration. When you feel it welling up in you, you should ask, "What am I afraid of here?" Or "What's frustrating me right now, and what can I do about it?"

If something's bothering you that you can change, then action is better than anger. If it's something you truly can't do anything about, then acceptance beats anger any day.

The more often you feel this emotion, the more you should analyze your fears and frustrations. If you can deal with them properly, then this inner disruption will not bother you so much, but rather, literally, leave you in peace.

And, ultimately, it's only from a state of inner peace that we can best face new challenges and situations that would otherwise spark in us fear or frustration.

When we deal properly with the inner causes of anger, the results can be grrrrrrreat!