Follow @TomVMorris
Short Videos
Keynote Talks and Advising
About Tom
Popular Talk Topics
Client Testimonials
Books
Novels
Blog
Contact
ScrapBook
Retreats
The 7 Cs of Success
The Four Foundations
Plato's Lemonade Stand
The Gift of Uncertainty
The Power of Partnership

Tom Morris

Great Ideas. With Power. And Fun.
Short Videos
Keynote Talks and Advising
About Tom
Popular Talk Topics
Client Testimonials
Books
Novels
Blog
Contact
ScrapBook
Retreats
The 7 Cs of Success
The Four Foundations
Plato's Lemonade Stand
The Gift of Uncertainty
The Power of Partnership

Joyful Mediocrity

Joyful mediocrity. It's a thing. It's what I feel when I’m playing my guitar, amped to the max. I don't need to be the best at it. It can bring me joy even if I’m just Ok.

How about you?

Do you really have to strive to be the best at everything you do? Can’t you just enjoy whatever makes your heart sing, regardless of how good or proficient you might be? Is everything necessarily about improving, and fighting to be better than others? Is life optimization a constant duty and demand?

Maybe not. Perhaps the truth is very different from that. We should consider the possibility that life is really not an endless competition in every one of its nooks and crannies. It’s not in all respects an Olympic track where we’re supposed to be racing and struggling to beat everyone else, or even our own past and fleeting personal best. It’s often a buffet, a playground, a quiet river, a dance, a meditation mat, or a comfortable room where you can pick up that musical instrument and just mess around.

Do you have a mug that says “World’s Best Dad?” Or “World’s Best Mom?” Guess what. You’re not the only one who was presented with that noble award. And you could then ask: Was it really something like a 3 million person tie? Or is it Ok to just be a wholehearted, kind, supportive, loving dad, or mom, or spouse, or friend, or boss, regardless of any competitive metrics that might be conjured up and imposed on you?

Don't get me wrong. Personal growth is one of the reasons we're alive. Getting better at anything can be enjoyable. Getting great can be just that—great and soul stirring. But it's not necessary to import this perspective into absolutely every area of your life.

I love Frisbee, and I'm average at it, at best. Mediocre would be the right word. But it's fun, even joyful.

I love to joke around. Am I a world class comic? Not by a long shot. Do I care? No! How about throwing a football? Fun, fun, fun. How good am I? Passable. See what I mean about the humor? I like to grab my wife and dance terribly until she makes me quit, about 5 seconds into the first awkward twirl. And I could go on. But she won't let me. Just kidding.

Fun. Soul elevating stuff. My heart sings while I recite Shakespeare. And I'll never be cast. But downcast? Never!!!!!

Am I alone in championing this concept of joyful mediocrity, or do you also have an experience of it in your life? If so, what’s it for you? What’s your love and joy—regardless of talent, acumen, praise, or skill?

A friend told me recently that he’s really bad at golf, but loves it. It’s his joyful mediocrity. I know people who love to play cards, but don't even think about winning. They relish the experience, the chit chat and just the time together. Sometimes, I get a kick out of whipping up a meal. And I usually dive into the result with enthusiastic gusto, although I wouldn’t expect anyone else to do so, and I’d really hate to see any review of my culinary achievement on Yelp.

Our entire culture seems to goad us on to work hard at everything, hone our chops, and rise to the top. But what if there’s a different way of rising, altogether, and it has nothing to do with any top?

In a culture of striving to be the best, perhaps sometimes it's best to just be.

So. Cultivate joyful mediocrity now and then. Unless you're my airline pilot on the job. Or a president in the Oval Office. But in other things, it's Ok to be average, or even bad, if what you're doing gives you joy. And if others can take joy in it, as well, even by laughing at your wonderful, delightful incompetence, then that's good, too.

PostedMay 19, 2017
AuthorTom Morris
CategoriesAdvice, Life, Wisdom
TagsMediocrity, Joy, Enjoyment, Life, Success, Striving, Optimization, Tom Morris
Post a comment
american-sniper_612x380_1.jpg

The American Sniper and You

A few days ago, I was flying to California for a talk in Napa Valley. I had a philosophy book with me to read along the way, but I wasn't really in the mood for analyzing and critiquing a complex argument. So I went into an airport bookstore in Charlotte, where I was changing planes. I had about 4 minutes to spare, so quickly scanned the nearest book table and saw American Sniper, the book on which the new movie is based.

I'm sure you know the story. Texas boy Chris Kyle worked hard and became a Navy SEAL, and ultimately the most prolific sniper in history. He was a legend. The book is his autobiography, with an emphasis on SEAL training, and his deployments into hot spots in the Middle East. It's a well written book, an absorbing tale, and a quick read, despite its nearly 500 pages.

The most surprising thing about the book is how much Kyle seemed to love his job, and, more generally, war. A sniper? Loving his job? But his job was killing people, right? Well, in his mind, his job was protecting his friends, and keeping the bad guys from killing the good guys. He came to see his adversaries as, for the most part, brutal, drugged up "savages" who seemed to have no shred of morality, civilization, or love for their fellow man. Their hearts had been so darkened by ignorance, ideology and violence that they could be stopped from their lust for killing in only one way. It was his job to see that this way was pursued vigorously and effectively.

I've written here before on what I've discovered about success in the works of the great practical philosophers throughout history and the fact that I've distilled their advice down to seven universal conditions. You may remember them. For true success in any challenging endeavor, we need (1) a clear CONCEPTION of what we want, (2) a strong CONFIDENCE that we can attain the goal we've set, (3) a focused CONCENTRATION on what it will take to get there, (4) a stubborn CONSISTENCY in pursuing our vision, (5) an emotional COMMITMENT to the importance of what we're doing, (6) a good CHARACTER to guide us and keep us on a proper course, and (7) a CAPACITY TO ENJOY the process along the way.

As you read American Sniper, it becomes clear that Chris Kyle lived each of these seven universal conditions, or what I call The 7 Cs of Success. The surprise to me was his wholehearted embrace of number seven, a CAPACITY TO ENJOY THE PROCESS. Initially, you say to yourself, "Who in the world could ever enjoy being a sniper? Aren't there just some jobs that can't possibly be enjoyed?" But then you read and ponder what Kyle says about his love for action, and battle, and doing his job well, and you begin to understand more deeply why he was the best at it who ever lived.

Now, if you're a pacifist, you may be insisting right now that no sniper could possibly satisfy the CHARACTER condition of The 7 Cs. But I'd take you back to Aristotle, who held that character involves such things as honesty and courage and a sense of humor amid difficulty. Chris displayed all such things. And you could continue through Aristotle's classic list of virtues and you'd still be able to tick off the boxes in this guy's life.

So if you are trying to live wisely and be successful and think that your job is so hard, or unpleasant, on some days, that you can't possibly satisfy the seventh condition of success, read this book and rethink it all. Like Marcus Aurelius once said, "Your life is what your thoughts make it." 

Excellence is hard. And it's tough to make it happen without commitment, character, and a capacity to enjoy the process, along with all the other conditions.

PostedFebruary 17, 2015
AuthorTom Morris
CategoriesAdvice, Life, Business, Wisdom
TagsAmerican Sniper, Chris Kyle, War, Success, Difficulty, Enjoyment, Love, Philosophy, Wisdom, Tom Morris, TomVMorris
Post a comment

Some things that may be of interest. Click the images below for more!

First up: Tom’s new Silver Anniversary Edition of his hugely popular book on The 7 Cs of Success!

The New Breakthrough Guide to Stoicism for our time.

Tom's new book, out now!
Finally! Volume 7 of the new series of philosophical fiction!

Finally! Volume 7 of the new series of philosophical fiction!

Plato comes alive in a new way!

Plato comes alive in a new way!

On stage in front of a room full of leaders and high achievers from across the globe.

On stage in front of a room full of leaders and high achievers from across the globe.

Maybe, my favorite book of all time. Published in 1905, it's a charming and compelling tale about the power of the imagination and simple kindness in dealing with great difficulties. You'll love it. Click the cover to find it on Amazon!

Maybe, my favorite book of all time. Published in 1905, it's a charming and compelling tale about the power of the imagination and simple kindness in dealing with great difficulties. You'll love it. Click the cover to find it on Amazon!

My favorite photo and quote from the first week of my new blog:

My barn having burned down, I can now see the moon. - Mizuta Masahide

My barn having burned down, I can now see the moon. - Mizuta Masahide

I'll Rise Up and Fly.

When I was young I thought I could fly. If I ran just right I'd rise into the sky and go over the yard and the house and the trees until, floating a bit, I'd catch a good breeze and neighbors would see and squint into the sun and say "Come here and …

When I was young
I thought I could fly.
If I ran just right
I'd rise into the sky
and go over the yard and the house and the trees
until, floating a bit,
I'd catch a good breeze
and neighbors would see
and squint into the sun
and say "Come here and look
at what this kid has done!"
I'd continue to rise,
and with such a big smile,
my grin could be viewed
at least for a mile.
And, even today
I think, if I try,
the time may yet come
when I'll rise up and fly. (TM)

My Favorite Recent Photo: A young lady named Jubilee gets off to a head start in life by diving into some philosophy!

My Favorite Recent Photo: A young lady named Jubilee gets off to a head start in life by diving into some philosophy!

Great new Elizabeth Gilbert book on creative living and the creative experience.

Great new Elizabeth Gilbert book on creative living and the creative experience.

The back flap author photo on the new book The Oasis Within.

The back flap author photo on the new book The Oasis Within.

Something different. Paola Requena. Classical guitar. Sonata Heróica.

Two minutes on a perspective that can change a business or a life.

On the beach where we do retreats, February 16, 2018, 77 degrees. Philosophy in shorts and a T shirt done right.

On the beach where we do retreats, February 16, 2018, 77 degrees. Philosophy in shorts and a T shirt done right.

So many people have asked to see one of my old Winnie the Pooh TV commercials and I just found one! Here it is:

Long ago and far away, on a Hollywood sound stage, I appeared in two network ads for the wise Pooh, to promote his adventures on Disney Home Videos. For two years, I was The National Spokesman for that most philosophical bear. This is one of the ads. I had a bad case of the flu but I hope you can't tell. A-Choo!

Now, for something truly unexpected:

Five Years ago, a friend surprised me by creating an online shop of stuff based on my Twitter Feed. I had forgotten all about it, but stumbled across it today. I should get this shirt for when I'm an old man, and have my home address printed on the …

Five Years ago, a friend surprised me by creating an online shop of stuff based on my Twitter Feed. I had forgotten all about it, but stumbled across it today. I should get this shirt for when I'm an old man, and have my home address printed on the back, along with, "Return if Found." Click to see the other stuff! I do love the dog sweaters.

Cat videos go philosophical. The now famous Henri Le Chat Noir, existential hero. Click image for the first video I saw and loved.

Cat videos go philosophical. The now famous Henri Le Chat Noir, existential hero. Click image for the first video I saw and loved.

Another Musical Interlude. Two guys with guitars, one an unusual classical seven string, one a bass, but playing chords.

I memorized the "To be or not to be" soliloquy from Hamlet months ago, and recite it nearly daily. It's longer than you think, and is a powerful meditation on life and motivation, fear, and the unknown. To find some good 3 minute videos of actors pe…

I memorized the "To be or not to be" soliloquy from Hamlet months ago, and recite it nearly daily. It's longer than you think, and is a powerful meditation on life and motivation, fear, and the unknown. To find some good 3 minute videos of actors performing these lines, click here. Watch Branaugh and Gibson for very different takes.

This is a book I read recently, and it's one of the best I've read in years on happiness and success. Shawn helped teach the famous Harvard course on happiness, and brings the best of that research and more into this great book. Click on it. I think…

This is a book I read recently, and it's one of the best I've read in years on happiness and success. Shawn helped teach the famous Harvard course on happiness, and brings the best of that research and more into this great book. Click on it. I think you'll like it!

A favorite performance of the great Brazilian bossa nova song Wave, by Tom Jobim. Notice Marjorie Estiano's fun, the older guitarist's passion, the flutist's zen. Marjorie's little laugh at the end says it all. That should be how we all feel about our work. Gladness. Joy.

I happened across this great book on death and life after death. Because of some uncanny experiences surrounding the death of her father and sister, this journalist began to research issues involving death. Her conclusions are careful and well docum…

I happened across this great book on death and life after death. Because of some uncanny experiences surrounding the death of her father and sister, this journalist began to research issues involving death. Her conclusions are careful and well documented. If you're interested in this topic, you'll find this book clear, fascinating, and helpful. A Must Read! For my recent conversation with the author on HuffPo, click here.

Henri discovers the first book about his unique philosophical ponderings. Click image for the short video.

Henri discovers the first book about his unique philosophical ponderings. Click image for the short video.

My favorite website to visit nearly every day. Maria Popova may read more and write more than any other human being on earth, and her reports are always amazingly interesting. This is really brain candy, but with serious nutritional benefits as well…

My favorite website to visit nearly every day. Maria Popova may read more and write more than any other human being on earth, and her reports are always amazingly interesting. This is really brain candy, but with serious nutritional benefits as well. Visit her often!

One of my newest talk topics is "Plato's Lemonade Stand: Stirring Change into Something Great." Based on the old adage, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," this talk is about how to do exactly that. Inquire for my availability through the c…

One of my newest talk topics is "Plato's Lemonade Stand: Stirring Change into Something Great." Based on the old adage, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," this talk is about how to do exactly that. Inquire for my availability through the contact page above! Let's stir something up!

A frequent inspiration. Monday, 30, April 2012. Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli perform "Time to Say Goodbye." Notice how they indwell the lyrics, and still manage to relate to each other so demonstratively.

My friend Bill Powers writes on how to handle the technology in your life and stay sane. A beautiful meditation on how we've always struggled with the new new thing, and sometimes win. Recommended!

My friend Bill Powers writes on how to handle the technology in your life and stay sane. A beautiful meditation on how we've always struggled with the new new thing, and sometimes win. Recommended!

Above is a short video on finding fulfillment in anything you do, that was taped a few years ago. I hope you enjoy it!

This is a beautiful and difficult book on the odd relationship between repeated failure and eventual success. It's full of great stories and moments of meditation. You will find yourself teasing out the insights, but they're powerful and worth the w…

This is a beautiful and difficult book on the odd relationship between repeated failure and eventual success. It's full of great stories and moments of meditation. You will find yourself teasing out the insights, but they're powerful and worth the work.

One of the best books in the past year or more, G&T is a wonderful look at how givers can rise high. Grant is the youngest tenured professor at Wharton and its most popular teacher. Here, he shows why! A really good book.

One of the best books in the past year or more, G&T is a wonderful look at how givers can rise high. Grant is the youngest tenured professor at Wharton and its most popular teacher. Here, he shows why! A really good book.