Your Natural Stoic Joy

When I was growing up, I often heard the word ‘stoic’ in the context of not showing emotion, or even not feeling it. I had to become a philosopher and read the stoics to learn that was wrong.

My favorite stoic teachers—Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, and Epictetus—seemed to think that we have, as our deep natural state, a sort of joy. This joy in living, in being a part of such a wondrous world, in being with others under the warmth of the sun, or amid the nightly spectacle of the sparkling stars, should be our default position, our resting state, and our ordinary possession. But many of us, they suggested, have allowed it to be lost because of worry, fear, concern, anxiety, upset, irritation, anger and a host of other negative emotions that rush at us, day after day. Some of us are even pulled away from that natural joy by what we might think of as positive emotions like exuberance and excitement and passion. When even positive feelings become too strong, or are sparked by the wrong things, we can be dislodged from the joy that’s meant to be ours.

So the stoics urged us to be guardians of our souls, protectors of that natural joy. We should be skeptics and doubters in the face of anything that might take it away. And that’s a challenge. I just went through one of those medical tests where, for a man of my age, there could have been something that severely challenged the joy. But there was what we call by contrast good news instead. And yet the stoics cautioned us on thinking any news was in itself either good or bad. They wanted to reserve those terms for the states of our own souls, and never apply them to externals. While we may not be so extreme as they were in this regard, I get their point. We too easily rush to judgment about what seems good or what seems bad. And this alienates us from our joy. But in the end, what is good for us or bad for us may turn on what we make of it in the long run. And we can act best to be spiritual alchemists when we’re in that state of joy.

As you read the news today, or hear someone say something that disturbs you, don’t grab it and hold it close, but loosen your grip on it emotionally. Let it go enough to return to that state of mind and heart our stoic friends would wish for you. Then, you can be your best as you do and feel and create.

Stoic Joy. Natural Joy.

In preparation for a trip across the country not long ago, I did something I rarely do: I took one of my own books along to read. It was The Stoic Art of Living: Inner Resilience and Outer Results. It was published ten years ago, and I had not re read it since the early days after it first appeared on bookstore shelves. I tried to approach it objectively, as I would any book. And I have to admit that I really enjoyed it! I had forgotten various little discoveries I had made when I first wrote the original draft of the book, going back almost twenty years. The top three Roman stoics, the slave Epictetus, the prominent lawyer Seneca, and Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius had great and practical insights about life that can tremendously enhance our experience of the world today. Their wisdom, at its best, will never go out of style.

The stoics had many perspectives that can help us. Inner resilience is the best path for outer results. Things are not often what they seem. Most of our difficulties come not from the world, but from how we think about things in the world. Nothing can truly harm a good person. By changing our thoughts, we can change our lives. Nothing is to be feared. And I could go on. But, to me, perhaps chief among their insights was the claim that joy is our natural state.

Think about that for a second. Joy is our natural state. If any stoic philosopher was right in thinking this, then either you are experiencing joy right now, or there is some unnatural, unnecessary obstacle in your life blocking that joy, and it's an obstacle you can remove.

If you are, right now, in a state of joy, congratulations. If you aren't, then you should be asking yourself what's getting in the way. What's blocking you from the state of mind that should be your natural default setting? The possibilities are many. And you can't do anything about the ones operative in your life right now until you can identify them. The stoics were confident that, whatever the obstacles might be, you can eliminate them through controlling your emotions, and in turn, you can do that by controlling your thoughts. It's just that simple.

The stoics were philosophers who wanted to help us peel back the worry and anger, the suffering and agitation, the distraction and confusion that too often rules our lives, and get back to the natural state of joy. When we experience that natural joy, we flow forward with all the power that we're meant to have in this life. And that's the power, in the deepest sense, of love.

What's keeping us from it?

Joy

Joy. It's a big concept bottled up in a little word. It's a big thing available to each of us.

One of the major surprises I had when I was studying the stoic philosophers, Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius, years ago, in preparation for my book The Stoic Art of Living, was that they were so different from what 'stoic' and 'stoicism' has come to mean in the popular mind. Most people think that being stoic is all about not feeling anything - that it's almost like philosophical anesthesia. But it's not.

The stoics wanted to help us to keep from being disturbed by fleeting emotions so that our natural joy could rise to the surface and be experienced and lived. Negative emotions like resentment, and bitterness, and anger can obviously prevent an experience of joy. But the additional insight of the stoics was that unreasonably strong positive emotions could, too, like that "irrational exuberance" that can come from hearing what we think is great good news. When we get too worried, or too excited, we can become unhinged from reality and our own inner poise and healthiness. The stoics seemed to think that if we could avoid such unsettling emotions, negative or positive, we could become peaceful enough in our surface consciousness as to allow a deep joy that is our birthright to bubble up into our souls and truly bless us.

Joy is not the same thing as happiness. It's not giddiness. It's not mere pleasantness. It's deeper and higher and more abiding. Most of us have felt it, at some time, if only in a momentarily taste or touch of it. But some seem to live it enduringly. Do you have it in your life right now? If not, why not? What's getting in the way? What obstacle to your joy could be removed or eliminated?

At its best, therapy removes obstacles to joy. At its best, self examination prepares the soil for joy.

What gives you joy? Can you integrate more of that into your life this week? Or even today?

It's meant to be yours. And it can enhance everything else you feel, and do.