Goals and Problems

The secret connection of Goals and Problems don’t get talked about much.

The problems we face form us. Those that we choose define us.

Have you ever pondered the fact that when you set a new goal, you invite new problems into your life? Many situations around you and facts about the world that would have been of no special interest to you suddenly become problems when they stand between you and a goal you've chosen. Apart from that goal, they would not have counted as problems for you. Many of those situations you might never have noticed at all. Others would have come to your attention, but not as difficulties or hardships for you. They didn't impinge on you personally. Until you set the goal you wanted to pursue. And then suddenly, you begin to notice circumstances anew, as problematic, as obstacles, as irritations.

Other situations will develop as personal problems while you pursue your goal. You'll get yourself into hard places that you could have avoided. You'll face challenges that are of your own doing. But that's Ok. It's your goal, after all. And it's important to have goals, even though they bring problems. It's part of the package deal in this world. We'd have vastly fewer problems if we had no dreams, or aspirations, or goals. It's the purpose of our goals to stretch us and grow us. And they often do that through the problems they bring with them. And as the Roman poet Horace once said, we often find that, "The greater the difficulty, the greater the glory." We feel best about the success that comes out of challenge.

Therefore, hence, ergo. When you fall down, don't worry about it. Just pick yourself back up. Recall how the journey you're on may have brought you to this fall. You'd be back in your armchair without the goals you're pursuing. And you wouldn't be falling. But you wouldn't be going anywhere, either. And bouncing back from a fall may be just what you need.

So when you're facing a new problem, obstacle, or difficulty, ponder how your dreams and aspirations and goals may have brought it into your life. Embrace it with cheerfulness as a part of the process. Solving it may just give you the wisdom you need down the road. Even the sheer process of struggling with it might accomplish that same end. We're always becoming, never just doing. With the right attitude and practice, we can become great, falls and all.

Setting Goals: The Uncommon Advice

Aim High! Dream Big! Set Bold Audacious Goals!

We hear this a lot. But when we examine effective goal setting, we see something that hardly ever gets mentioned.

For every dream-goal, there should be do-goals. Ok, you want to make a million dollars, or 10, or climb Everest, or be the Number One person in your company or field, garner acclaim as Teacher of the Year, or have a book of yours on a bestseller list. That's fine. And with such an aspiration, you have a dream-goal that's big and impressive but does not depend wholly on you for its attainment. It requires the free choices of others to make it happen. Are they going to buy your book in mass numbers? Will they work hard enough to match you or outperform you in your professional metrics?

A dream-goal is big and not utterly within your control. A do-goal, by contrast, is the opposite. It's within your control, to the extent that anything can be said to be. For example, you can't guarantee for yourself 5 sales today. But you can do something to help make that happen. You can set a do-goal of 20 calls to qualified referrals. Or if your dreams are literary, you can set a do-goal of writing a certain number of days a week, and averaging 3 pages a day.

In our time, we're encouraged by all the people who most want to take your money to set and announce to others impressive goals, when we really need to be setting immersive goals—goals that get us down in the weeds of everyday life, where real success gets planted and grows, through our own ministrations. So, yeah, Ok, think big and strategic, but also think small and tactical.

Make sure your goals are rooted in self knowledge, situational knowledge, and represent the right values, being good for others as well as for you. And don't neglect all the dimensions of your life outside work. Pascal taught me that we need physical goals, intellectual goals, and spiritual goals, because we live life on all three levels. Career goals are fine and important but should not be our only goals.

Just let proper goal setting be your ongoing goal.

Success, Failure, and Effort

The most important distinction in this world isn't between success and failure, but effort and inertia. Forward movement counts. Destinations can change as we learn and grow. But growth requires movement. And that depends on effort. So rev it up and go.

Think Small. Aim Low. Set Modest Goals.

Think Small. Aim Low. Set Modest Goals.

Has any motivational speaker in history said those things? Probably not. And they constitute amazingly good advice.

At age 58 I had never done the famous exercise called Bench Press. I started small, at 85 pounds, because I saw a guy about my age or older doing it with that weight. Pretty soon I was lifting 100 pounds, then 120 and even 150. The day I hit 200 was amazing. When I first tried 240 I was over 60 and it felt like I had a truck on me. My workout partner was yelling “It’s moving! It’s going up!” I thought I was stuck. I was using a Smith Machine that has the bar in a slot and you don’t have to use any small muscles to balance the load. I eventually made it to benching 315 pounds. If you had asked me at any point along the way if that was my goal, I would have thought it absurd.

Now I do free weight bench, where I have to balance the bar. So I had to back up, a lot. I did days at 140, days going up to 190, and recently 200 and even 230. But today, I had my personal best on free weight bench of 250, at age 66. Again, I could never have set that as a goal. I started small. I aimed low, so as not to hurt myself. I set modest goals along the way.

What we easily forget is that thinking small, aiming low, and setting modest goals gets you in the game, in any dimension of life. As you acquire skill and strength you can then step it up. But if I had been told today that I could go to the gym only if I was willing to try 250, I could have stayed at home. Honest. By aiming only for a modest goal today I positioned myself for much more.

Consider the immense benefits of thinking small, and adjusting along the way.

Thought and Action

I saw this photo on LinkedIn today, with an inscription wishing us all a brave new week. I loved it, and then began to think. I wrote a comment and now will expand a bit.

I love this picture for many reasons. For one, it shows the importance of paying attention to the gaps. Don't just look at what's there before you, put in place prior to your arrival, but also attend carefully to what's not there. Every plan and path forward has gaps. And you're much better off seeing them in advance rather than, unaware, stepping into them.

Second, this is an image that can give many people inner chills. And that's good. Even when you don't do extreme sports and outdoor challenges like the one depicted, you can metaphorically confront a version of the same sort of fear as you try anything new and daunting. All genuine adventures are surrounded by fog and fraught with danger and seem to promise a precipitous fall if things don't go just right. So, it's only the equally brave and careful who can reliably get to the other side. Thought and action together work best. And those with the vision to see the unseen most often gain the most of both.

Friday Thoughts.

Aim at lofty goals. The higher and farther away they are, the more likely you'll fall short. But the aspiration will alter and ennoble you.

The wheel of worldly fortune will turn and whip you from high to low unless you let wisdom center you at the hub. There, you can be calm and steady.

We too often see what we want to see, and what we expect to see, not what's actually there to be seen.

Anyone who thinks they have access to all the facts is kidding you. Anyone who denies there are any facts is seeking to harm you, or help themselves to something that's not rightfully theirs.

When people are afraid to tell the truth or just don't want to, they start saying there's no such thing as truth. Beware. Withdraw trust.

Opinion can be a good place to start but never a good place to end. Knowledge is always better, and that takes evidence and reason.

If we exist for eternities but are here only for decades, that stunning fact alone should help to put things into perspective.

Why is it so hard to have good and deep conversations with people? There's so much we could learn from each other. We need to find a way.

To live in the present moment, enriched by both past and future, and yet never diminished by either, is the secret to contentment.

To engage fully in a task that demands your talent and skill and strong mental focus is a step along the path of personal fulfillment.

Evil is typically noisy. Goodness is more often quiet. But only goodness can last.

We're here in this life with matches. Some of us try to strike them and hold them up to illumine the dark. Others seek to burn things down.

Who do you look to, and even emulate? We're all formed by those we admire and who spark our aspirations. We all need mentors who are wise.

Surround yourself with wisdom. Surround yourself with love. That's the only way to surround yourself with proper support and encouragement.

One of the greatest tests of spiritual maturity is patience. And, yeah, I know.

When God called Abraham, Moses, and Isaiah, each said, "Here I am." The Hebrew word signaled an attentiveness and a readiness to serve.

Life is best lived as a conduit for those great good energies that come from far beyond us and inspire us as we use them to lift others up.

One day can bring both charms and alarms. We should cultivate our ability to appreciate the former and tolerate the latter, unruffled.

They say we become what we think about. Not really. But our habitual thoughts do begin to color us, or stain us, with their tonalities.

Inner strength is different from physical strength. It's about being open to power from beyond yourself that you can spiritually leverage .

The Art of Writing

 “The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe."

That insightful perspective was articulated by the great author Gustav Flaubert.  And it captures my experience well.

I often get new ideas in conversation. But I never fully understand and own those ideas until I write about them, either for myself, or in a blog, or a book. Writing, at its best, is a form of thinking. It clarifies our thoughts. And it leads to new thoughts. It even expands us, when it's done right.

People long kept diaries and journals, reflecting on their day. But few do so today. The daily journal or diary is a great avenue to enhanced self knowledge. So is writing letters to friends and family. Even social media can be used for this purpose, however seldom it actually is. There's no reason, in principle, that a tweet can't serve a spiritual end.

Most of us have had an interesting experience. Maybe you've come away from a lively conversation, having learned something not just from what you heard the other person say, but from what you heard yourself saying in that conversation. Talking, at its best, can be a form of thinking. Socrates showed us this long ago. Yet most people talk just to communicate, question, or to grouse. Talking through a puzzle or problem can be an effective first step in solving it. But writing about something can at times be even more effective. Putting down on paper, or on a screen, what we're thinking allows us both to create a new line of thought, and then to examine it, as if from a short distance, and gain even more perspective.

Here's another common experience, one many of us had when we were in school: Called upon to write on a topic during an exam, we suddenly realized to our shock and amazement how vague and incomplete our ideas were. We felt a twinge of panic. Sometimes the mind went blank, completely offline. What a difference it could have made to write on the exam topics in advance, in preparation for the test itself!

I don't speak from notes when I'm in front of people. But I prepare with notes. That clarifies my thinking and even helps me remember what I want to say. The simple act of making a "To-Do List" before bed can implant the items on the list firmly enough in my memory that, the next day, I don't even need the list. It's already served its purpose.

When we write, we discover, we deepen our understanding, and we remember better. In setting goals, it can be very beneficial to write them out, and chart out the intermediate and more immediate steps that it will take to reach the goal. It stimulates new thought. And it generates motivation. 

So: Write to discover! And: Write to become!

It's almost never wrong to write. You heard it here.

A Philosophy for Success

I’m a philosopher. That gives me access to the wisdom of the ages – as well as an answer that completely perplexes people when they ask what I do for a living. But, on airplanes, and at parties, after the puzzlement subsides, people often ask me, within a few minutes, if the great thinkers of the past had any good advice about life, or life success, that we can use now. The answer is yes. From Plato and Aristotle on, the wisest people have left us powerful advice for success in anything we do. It boils down to seven universal conditions. I've alluded to this or talked about it in this blog before. Let's take a brief overview. Reminders can be helpful.

The 7 Cs of Success

For the most satisfying and sustainable forms of success, we need:

(1) A clear CONCEPTION of what we want, a vivid vision, a goal clearly imagined.

(2) A strong CONFIDENCE that we can attain that goal.

(3) A focused CONCENTRATION on what it takes to reach the goal.

(4) A stubborn CONSISTENCY in pursuing our vision.

(5) An emotional COMMITMENT to the importance of what we're doing.

(6) A good CHARACTER to guide us and keep us on a proper course.

(7) A CAPACITY TO ENJOY the process along the way.

There are certainly other tips associated with success, but every other one is just a version or application of one of these in specific situations. The 7 Cs give us the most universal, logical, and comprehensive framework for success. So, let’s take a quick look at each. 

(1) A clear CONCEPTION. In any facet of our lives, we need to think through as clearly as possible what we want to accomplish. True success starts with a clear inner vision. The world as we find it is just raw material for what we can make it. We’re meant to be artists with our energies and our lives. The only way to do that well is to structure our actions around clear goals.

(2) A strong CONFIDENCE. Inner attitude is a key to outer results. Harvard psychologist William James learned long ago that confidence can have powerful effects. In any new enterprise, we need upfront, resilient faith in our prospects. James called that "precursive faith" - faith that runs ahead of the evidence. Sometimes we have to work hard for this attitude. But it’s worth the work, because it raises our probability for success. The best confidence comes from careful preparation and then augments it with a can-do perspective. It’s no guarantee of success. But it is a chief contributor to it.

(3) A focused CONCENTRATION. Success at anything challenging comes from planning your work and then working your plan. A focused concentration generates new perceptual abilities. Concentrating your thought and energy toward a clear goal, you begin to see things that will help with it. This focus involves planning, acting, and adjusting along the way. Even a flawed plan can get you going and lead to a better one. A focused concentration of thought and action is key.

(4) A stubborn CONSISTENCY. The word ‘consistency’ comes from two Greek roots, a verb meaning “to stand” and a particle meaning “together.” Consistency is all about standing together. Do my actions stand together with my words? Do the people I work with stand together? This is what true consistency is all about. It’s a matter of unifying your energy in a single direction. It’s also known as harmony. Inconsistency defuses power. Consistency moves us toward our goals.

(5) An emotional COMMITMENT. Passion is the core of extraordinary success. Truly caring. It’s a key to overcoming difficulties, seizing opportunities, and getting other people excited about their work. Too much goal setting in in business is done just with the intellect and not the heart. We need both to guide us and keep us functioning at the peak of our abilities, despite the obstacles we inevitably face. 

(6) A good CHARACTER. Character inspires trust. And trust is necessary for people to work together well. But good character does more than provide for strong partnerships. It has an effect on each individual’s own freedom and insight. Bad character corrupts and blinds. Good character makes sustainable success more likely. In the end, character is all about strength.

(7) A CAPACITY TO ENJOY. The more you can enjoy the process of what you’re doing, the better the results tend to be. It’s easier to set creative goals. Confidence will come more naturally. And so on. A capacity to enjoy the process is linked to every other facilitator of success.

These conditions are deeply interconnected. They constitute a unified framework of tools for most fulfilling forms of achievement. It's been my joy to speak and write on them in books like True Success and The Art of Achievement, as well as The Stoic Art of Living and the ebook The 7 Cs of Success. I've been able to ponder them and discover their surprising depths for over 25 years. They can help us make our proper mark in the world. So, why should we ever settle for anything less?

Your Heart's Desire

Are you following your heart's desire?

Do you have any big dreams? If not, then why not? And if so, then are you also doing as well as dreaming in pursuit of your desire?

As I've mentioned before here, I grew up in an 800 square foot rental house on the outskirts of Durham, NC. We had small shelves of books in various rooms. And we often made trips downtown to the public library, which seemed to me as a boy like a magical place. My father was a high school graduate and lifelong reader. He always had a book in his hands, when he wasn't working at one of his many jobs. I recently rediscovered a book of his that had long been hidden away on one of my bookshelves. It was a boxed edition of a small format volume, with beautiful artwork on the box. Just inside the back cover was my father's signature, and a date: June 9, 1959. The book was Mrs. 'Arris Goes to Paris, first published in 1958. It was written by Paul Gallico, who was born in 1897 and was, to my knowledge, the first participative sports journalist, once actually knocked out in the ring by the heavyweight boxing champion of his time.

This wonderful short book is about a cleaning lady, or "char woman," in London, presumably in the 1950s, a Mrs. Ada Harris, who one day sees two ethereally beautiful dresses in the closet of one of her employers. She's never come across such beauty in all her life, and is astonished at the fabrics, colors, and workmanship of these garments. The lady of the house explains to her that they're both Christian Dior creations. On the spot, this older, working class widow forms an overwhelming desire to own a Dior dress for herself. She knows that she will never have an opportunity to wear such a thing - not within the tight strictures of her plain and simple life. But if she could just buy one and have it in her possession, and be able to gaze on it now and then, she feels her life would be complete.

She soon discovers that the price of such a dress is four hundred and fifty pounds sterling, more money than she can believe. But she's undaunted by the apparent impossibility of her heart's desire, and right away forms plans to gain this elusive object of her dreams. She saves a little. She enters sporting lotteries. She bets on a dog race. But as soon as she gets a little ahead, she's thrown back to square one. Still, she keeps her dream alive, and sacrifices both comforts and entertainments to save as much money as she can. She sits down to figure out on paper how long it will take to put away such an amount, making as she does the equivalent of about forty five cents an hour for her daily labor. The author writes:

Mrs. Harris had never in her life paid more than five pounds, roughly the equivalent of fourteen dollars, for a dress, a sum she noted down on the paper opposite the utterly fantastic figure of four hundred and fifty pounds.

He adds that she would not for a moment even have considered a dress costing fifty or sixty pounds. The Dior, however, was something on a level of its own. It was set apart, extraordinary, awe inspiring. He writes:

But the very outrageousness of the sum put it all into a wholly different category. What is it that makes a woman yearn for chinchilla, or Russian sables, a Rolls-Royce, or jewels from Cartier, Van Clef & Arpels, or the most expensive perfume, restaurant, neighborhood, etc.? It is this very pinnacle and preposterousness of price that is the guarantee of the value of her femininity and person. Mrs. Harris simply felt that if one owned a dress so beautiful that it cost four hundred fifty pounds there was then nothing left upon earth to be desired.

Years pass. Our lady eventually saves enough to fly to Paris for a day, and visit Christian Dior, to buy a dress. But she discovers that, even with the full amount of cash in her shabby old purse, such an acquisition isn't as simple or easy as she had hoped. She's at first shunned by those she meets at the cathedral of couture, as oddly out of place, unsettling, and unworthy of their notice. She doesn't belong in such a high end designer's showplace. But one haughty lady who serves as the manager of the enterprise eventually comes to notice the authenticity, independence, and fierce desire burning beneath Ada's awkward and untoward appearance. And, without giving away any of the amazing story that ensues, I want to tell you that in the dogged and impossible pursuit of her heart's desire, she ends up helping several other people to attain theirs. They see something in her spirit that helps them in their own challenges. She sees into their hearts and takes action, with small suggestions, that make all the difference for their unfulfilled dreams. There are twists and turns in Paris that I never expected. And on our hero's return to London there is the biggest surprise of all. As a result, her life is changed, in the end not by a dress, but by the adventure of seeking it, the things that happen along the way, and the realizations that all of it brings into her life.

The author wants us to understand the true value of pursuing our heart's desire. Whatever it may be, however worthy or unworthy it may seem in itself, if our quest for it is difficult and challenging enough, and if we engage in it with an open heart and authenticity of spirit, then throughout the pursuit we can often have the chance to do a form of good in the lives of others, as well as in our own, that we never could have imagined.

My father's copy bequeathed to me. I'd summarize it like this: One woman in pursuit of beauty, finds truth, goodness and unity abounding. In quest of her heart’s desire, she helps others to gain their own. Even a tragedy at the end becomes a wondrous gift.

Life Purpose

Arthur C. Brooks recently wrote in the New York Times:

In a 2009 study published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, researchers interviewed 806 adolescents, emerging adults. and adults about their purpose in life. A key finding of the study was that being able to articulate a life purpose was strongly associated with much greater life satisfaction than failing to do so. In contrast, purposelessness — no matter how closely tied to worldly prosperity — generally defines a hamster-wheel life, alarmingly bereft of satisfaction.

What struck me from this statement, first of all, is that, on this particular study, it didn't even matter what you had articulated as your life purpose - some purpose was better than none. Imagine, then, the level of satisfaction that can result from a truly meaningful life purpose, and one that's deeply right for you.

What is your purpose? Can you put it into words? According to the study cited, that in itself can make a difference in a positive way. And the clearer you are about your sense of purpose, the easier it is to assess potential goals, business opportunities, and even social activities. If you're vague about your sense of life direction, meaning, and purpose, it becomes difficult to know what to say yes to and when to say no, apart from momentary feelings. But temporary feelings aren't always our best guides to long term good. A sense of purpose is a great guide forward.

What's yours?

Moods or Goals?

I think I remember an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry says about something, "I'm not in the mood," and George replies, "Well, you better GET in the mood."

What is a mood? It's something like an emotional inclination, a sensed attraction or repulsion to some activity or thing. Moods come, and they go. And we normally don't think of them as something within our control. You're in a bad mood, or a good mood. It's almost like the weather, we think. It is what it is. And it will pass.

How often do moods determine what you do, or don't do? I suspect that mood plays more of a role in most of our lives than we acknowledge, on first consideration. And it's usually quite subtle. You don't feel like making the call, or writing up the report yet, so you don't. You feel like taking a break, or a walk, and so you do. "I'm not in the mood for any more of this right now" can indicate a lapse of patience, or perseverance, or tolerance, or even a loss of focus that could result from not enough sleep, or not enough breakfast, or too much of something else the night before.

"You're in a real mood today."

"I think I'm in the mood for pizza tonight," or "Mexican" or "Italian." And, here's something interesting: We hardly ever think or say, "I'm in the mood for working really hard today" even though we might be. And we never say, "I'm in the mood for striving consistently toward my goals for the next five months." Why not?

We normally think of moods as temporary, passing, or fickle, and goal oriented behavior as, by definition, rational, continuous, or, ideally, consistent. Moods are about what you feel like, now. Goals are about what you're committed to bring about, eventually.

I've come to think that it's fine to respond to many of our moods, in moderation. It can even be good, if the mood itself is. But life is all about the balance, the dance, the weave and integration of rational and non rational elements - what the Greeks called the Apollonian and the Dionysian (for Apollo, god of rationality and Dionysius, god of the emotional and sensual aspects of life). If we're, overall, goal oriented and have as goals valuable aims that we really believe in, then that will in itself be something of a mood governor.

The wise man or woman's moods can most often be indulged, because they're the result of a life well lived. But the long path to wisdom requires monitoring, and often overruling, the fleeting and often blind demands of mood. On that path, we train our emotions, and our moods, to work in concert with our rational purposes and goals, giving us both boosts and breaks when we need them, and moments of restoration when that's required. We're not to be machines in work or life. And our moods can express our humanity.

What are you in the mood for, today?

A Plan With Urgency.

Leonard Bernstein once said:

To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time.

That's really good. I like it. What you need is not (1) a plan, and (2) all the time in the world. What you need is a plan and not quite enough time. Why?

You need a sense of urgency about your plan and your ability to execute it. Plenty of time makes a sense of urgency hard to create. Not quite enough time gets you going and keeps you at it, while you glance at the calendar and check your watch.

That's the secret insight of procrastinators. They put things off until they have the magic of not quite enough time. Then they bear down with focus and intensity. Some wait until actual desperation sets is. They do whatever it takes to get the fire blazing high.

I'm not recommending procrastination - not yet, at least.

I'm agreeing with the famous director that a great plan and a time squeeze can be a magical combination. I sometimes give myself an artificial deadline for a project, and get all worked up about how in the world I'll get it done in that amount of time. I don't let myself think of the fact that I've just made up the deadline. I convince myself it's real and important. And it is important if it gets me going full force. And because I'm pretty good at convincing myself of things, I hit the accelerator and take off! I get stuff done.

And I'd love to say more, but: There's not quite enough time.

Tempus fugit!

The Size of Your Life

I live in many ways a small, snug life. And I'm happy in it. But one of the hardest things in the modern world is to be content with the size of your life.

People contact me all the time to tell me about their grand plans, their world-historical ambitions and dreams that will likely play out on a stage so big that the earth itself will seem too small to support it all. And even our own galaxy, in contrast, may appear to be a bit modest and out of the way for the immense grandeur that is to transpire, if their goals are realized. 

This has been going on for decades. Really. My wife says I'm some sort of a magnet for grandiose dreamers. I don't know why. I do enjoy hearing of their ambitions. I deeply appreciate unfettered enthusiasm. I love thinking big. But as I listen to the various magnificent plans, I always wonder: "How?" And sometimes: "Why?"

Most days, I work at home. And most of my day involves working on very little things. I realized long ago that if I was going to personally change the world for the better, it would have to be very slowly. And so now, on the brink of my 63rd birthday, you've got to give me credit for sticking to my own plan and sense of timing. I've been slow, indeed. The world is not yet, it seems, quite changed in the way I've intended. Maybe I've planted a few seeds over the years that will germinate. And it could be that the results of those seeds will go far beyond anything I can currently imagine. But then again, if not, that's fine, too.

I've come to suspect that there is a way in which the smallest lives can be among the biggest, and what play out as the biggest may often be missing out on the real adventure. You see, surface appearances don't tend to be reliable guides to deeper realities. There may be a spiritual transvaluation of values that's always going on. Focus on the right things, and your life, however humble it seems, is in reality infinitely expansive. Chase the wrong things, however grand, and you've shrunk it down to a pinpoint of value. And then, in the realm of the right things, any little action can have ripples that don't stop. My hyperbolic dreamers, by contrast, often aspire to the role of demi-gods, and want to make huge waves that could end up with the effect of a tsunami.

So, my thought for the day, if I actually have one here, is to enjoy, relish, and value the small things in your life. Maybe you are changing the world, whether you're advertising it in huge letters of skywriting for us all to read or not. Maybe your small is really big.

Small is good.

Self-Help! in India

A man named David wrote me a year ago, and then again recently. He’s an avid reader of self help books and lives in India. The books didn’t work they way he had hoped. I asked if I could blog this exchange without using his name. He said it would be fine to use it. So here it is. What would you say?

From: David. Sent: Thu, Mar 6, 2014 10:11 am Subject: Career Advice

Dear Sir, I just read your book True Success (7 Cs of Success) and I found it really helpful. I also watched some of your videos on you tube. I am David, I am from India, 40 years of age. As far as I remember I have never been too ambitious and I have not found my true passion yet. I have tried several jobs and since last 8-9 years I have been pretty stable in a Sales job.

Last year in March I lost my job, but I didn't loose hope and found another job, but at a second level below my last position. ( I was working as Regional Manager handling multiple branches in a bigger area, whereas the current position I got was as Branch head in the same industry handling only one branch).

I got this position in the month of June 2013 but within a month I resigned as I could not feel comfortable going back in the hierarchy and it was suffocating as I thought it would take another 2-3 years for me to get back to my same position which I was in my last job as Regional manager. Whereas, my friends/colleagues and my juniors were at a better position. Even though the salary was good I didn't think twice before resigning as I was very confident in getting another job at my level, but this proved to be wrong as since last 7-8 months I have tried everything but not landed any job. (It’s good that I had a saving so I can still take care of another 3-4 months).

My confidence is also getting low as days are just passing by. I would like some advice from you so that I can implement the same and get my career on track. Regards,

David

To: David Re: Career Advice From: tomvmorris Date: Thu, 6 Mar 2014 11:42:10 -0500

Hi David! I'm glad you read True Success and have enjoyed it. A nice follow-up might be The Art of Achievement, which examines arts or skilled behaviors connected with each of the 7 Cs - and especially in times of transition such as you find yourself in now. It sounds like you're ready for the next adventure. I hope these books can help.

Remember in True Success there was a section about goal setting, and a suggestion about making lists: What do I like about my life now? What do I not like about my life right now? Sometimes, that can start creative thought about what you want to preserve and what you want to change.

I understand the frustration you experienced when you were running a single branch rather than a region. We all experience temporary fluctuations in our trajectories in the world. There are ups and there are downs. You can be a successful individual whether you are having success right now in all the ways you want it, or not. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. You're sometimes running, sometimes walking, sometimes, stopped, bent over catching your breath or drinking water. Then you start up again.

When you lost the regional position and gained the local job, that didn't lower your value or worth. But I'm sure you felt a blow to your self esteem. It didn't seem fair, when others you knew continued to prosper, despite having no more merit than you. Almost everyone lives through this, and perhaps several times.

If you love the industry, I would take any job in it that allowed me to show excellence at that level, whatever it is. Excellence always rises, and you can't predict how quickly or slowly.

You are a young man. I say that as a 62 year old about to have a birthday. You have many great adventures ahead of you. Don't be afraid to start the next one in a small way. For a great soul, no job is small. You make it great. Then you expand your territory.

Difficulties easily erode our confidence. But the confidence that most matters always has to come from the fire inside you, the fire that uses obstacles as more fuel and grows from its experiences.

If that's the C that's the hardest for you right now, Confidence, then use the others to build it. That's the way the framework can function. The more you apply the other conditions, the more confidence will grow.

Don't be discouraged! Everyone has hard times. Those are the times that grow up and strengthen us!

I would network with others, apply for anything that would have looked interesting to the younger you, and prepare to expand the job to reflect who you truly are!

Let me know if I can help in any way. Tom Morris

From: David RE: Career Advice Date: Fri, 7 Mar 2014 22:55:00 +0530

Dear Sir, Thanks for the valuable advice. I would definitely implement your suggestions. All the best for your future goals and aspirations. Regards,

David

A YEAR PASSES

From: David Sent: Wed, Mar 11, 2015 8:34 am Subject: RE: Career Advice

Sir, I hope you remember the last conversation we had last year. Well I did take up a job after that, it was an educational institute. As my job is in sales I have to achieve the targets. After working there for 6 months due to non performance I had to quit again. Last month I got a job in the same industry but in another city. I worked for almost a month but nothing felt right from the day one. The bosses were rude and on top of it I was torn between family and job. I had not shifted my family to the new location. It was difficult and in the end I quit without even taking my salary.

You must be wondering why I am sharing this with you, sometimes a third person can be a good judge.

Sometimes I think may be because of reading of all these self-help books, where they tell you to go and achieve the stars, amass more wealth.

I started my career in accounts but then after reading such books I thought I was playing safe and may be I need to do something great. I switched my career to sales thinking that I would move the career ladder faster. As you know sales is a roller coaster ride. It’s a tough job and now after almost 15 years it is very difficult to change the careers from sales to some other department.

Now I have started to feel like a failure. My brother who is younger to me works in accounts. His organization has sent him to USA. He would be earning in dollars and that too at a steady job. The frustration is mounting. Will appreciate some good advice from you. Thanks in advance.

David from India

What would you suggest?

To David Wed, Mar 11, 2015

David: Could you tell me which self help books you've read? TM

From: David

Sir, Unlimited power, Awaken the giant within you, Think and grow rich, some books by norman vincent peale, psycho cybernetics, seven habits and more. Mostly books on achieving success and wealth. I think the more u run after success, success deludes you. I have tried affirmations, creative visualization, nlp. I have also tried listening to paul mckenna, and morry method, subliminal messaging, but it didn't help. I know some of my friends they don't know anything of this stuff but still they are successful. Well may be it would not be proper to blame self help books, but take responsibility and move forward.

May be I need to change my attitude towards work. I think inspite of reading all this positive stuff I have become negative. Like for instance in my last job I had argument with one of my boss on the second day. I started thinking anytime in future they will fire me. One more mistake and I will be out of job. At the same time staying in a new city, away from my family and spending on rent and food, and top of it having a hyper boss, the stress was unbearable and I just decided to quit and come back.

Now that I have come back I think, have I made a mistake, in this tough market I did get a job, should I be more tough mentally, should I have more patience, should I have the mentality of not quitting at any cost. Well I think this is the time for some introspection and action, so that I do not fall in this trap again.

Thanks for the time and yes your blog is really wonderful.

One more question what do you think of Ayn Rands philosophy. Few years back I was very much motivated by her books fountain head and atlas shrugged. Thanks and regards. David

To David Date: Wed, 11 Mar 2015 09:21:50 -0400

Hi David. This is a temporary learning period you're going through. Many good people go through such a period, and come out of it with lots more wisdom about themselves and life.

The self help books too often don't recognize that people have very different talents, and that the contours of success can be as different for them as their talents. Not everyone can be a CEO. What would the world do with 6 billion CEOs and no one else? Not everyone SHOULD be a CEO. Not everyone can be a painter, or a journalist, or an accounts manager. When the self help books tell you to AIM HIGH, they usually assume that it means lots of money, or an exalted corporate status, or outsized power. But why should everyone aspire to that? It makes no sense. Some of us have talents that are of tremendous value to those around us, but our culture doesn't reward those talents with big money. So what?

The best advice is to know yourself. Find what you enjoy. Discover how you can use your time and talents to benefit others, in however large or small a way. Then do that. The proper rewards will follow. And many of those rewards will involve your own self esteem, fulfillment and happiness. Why should success mean the same results for everyone who has it? Why should you have to be miserable to work toward someone else's view of success?

You have tried an experiment. And like most experiments, there is a sense in which it didn't work. But in a deeper sense it did work. It told you what not to do. It reminded you of the importance of family. It showed you what doesn't feel right.

I've written extensively about seven universal conditions for success. They can act as a checklist for a possible goal or job. Then, once you've picked the goal or job, they can support your work toward it.

When I tell people to aim high, I mean for them to seek to be the best that THEY can be, with THEIR talents and interests. A janitor at The University of Notre Dame was the noblest man on campus, in my view. He thought of his job not just as cleaning a building but as creating conditions for excellence. He was a custodian of souls. His friendly and positive energy lifted up everyone around him. Most of the people in the building had PhDs, but they went to him to talk about difficulties and hurts and challenges. He was in the right job to make his proper difference. It's too bad he wasn't paid a lot of money for it. But if he had been, he would have given it away to poorer people. Why is money the measure? It isn't. It never has been. It just sells self help books.

Use what you've learned on these recent adventures to launch out in one that's better for YOU. That's self help. Use your wisdom for your good and the good of those you care about.

You can start almost anywhere. As you've learned, some adventures are short. Some are longer. Each one can teach us. You're learning a lot.

We should never judge jobs by external standards. Jobs don't make people important. People make jobs important.

You have greatly important work ahead of you. Let me know how it goes.

Believe in yourself. Your ability to articulate your journey makes me sure that the future can be very good for you.

Good Wishes! Tom Morris

Greed

What would the world be like without greed - Greed for power, money, status, fame, stuff, experience, or love? A reader recently posed this question. So let's reflect on it. Greed is a potent source of action. It powers ambition and achievement. It moves people to take a risk and persist. It can even elicit creativity. It gets people up in the morning, and keeps them working hard through the day, and even into the night. In the hit movie Wall Street, the star character Gordon Gekko famously proclaimed, "Greed is good." 

But is he right? A philosopher like me would say that greed is not only unnecessary, it's unhealthy and toxic. It's not good at all.

Desire is a good thing, when attached to good purposes. Greed is an excess of desire. Aristotle had an interesting analysis of virtue as the mid point between two vices, or extremes. Courage, for example, is the mid point between the extreme of too little, called cowardice or timidity, and the excess of too much, known as rashness, or temerity. Likewise, perhaps, a healthy form or degree of desire is a mid point between the too-little of apathy, and the too-much of greed. Desire is necessary for ambition and achievement. Greed isn't. In fact, greed enslaves and corrupts people. And this has been recognized by the wisest thinkers, east and west. It's the maximal extent of what eastern philosophers call "attachment." It's bad for the soul. And it isn't for even a minute good for business.

Greed is about getting what you want, not about making the world a better place. It doesn't actually support the full range of creativity or curiosity you might at first think it would, but just focuses on getting the most it can the quickest way possible. It's willing to do great damage to others to get its own way. And it's sometimes surprised by the consequences.

The greedy tend to go too far, burn bridges, alienate others, and violate all known ethical codes. They become captivated by things they don't need. They get obsessed by things and habits that will distort their lives. They lose all balance and discernment. They bull their way into situations that will ultimately make them unhappy. They corrupt their own souls.

I was asked this question just a few days ago by a reader of this blog: What would the world be without greed? My answer is simple. It would be a much better place. And, Yo, thanks for asking.

And readers: Feel free to make other suggestions. I desire them, but promise you I'm not greedy. I'll share.

Focus!

One of the greatest keys to success in modern business is focus. Let's think about it for a bit.

First, notice that the word is primarily a verb. Focus. Even the noun form is an action word. Focus is something you have precisely when it’s something you do.  And I think there are three basic imperatives involved with attaining and keeping great focus.

1. Ignore Distractions. Ask What Matters.

There’s an old saying that the two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. That could be true. And if there’s a third, it just may be distraction.

We’re always surrounded by distractions – news, gossip, emails, texts, phone messages, the never ending streams of social media, the various forms of old fashioned media, and people stopping by to shoot the breeze or tell us about their problems. The buzz of distraction is incessant. And it’s all around us. We have to learn to block it out and ignore it.

We need to question things. What’s relevant to our concerns, and what’s off target, even if just slightly? What can advance us along our path, and what would just detain us and hold us back? We can draw this crucial distinction only if we have clear targets, clear goals around which to structure our focus, and guidelines for properly getting there. Those organizing aims, ideas, and principles then become the test for anything that enters our consciousness: Will this thing or idea or opportunity or conversation help us properly to attain our goals, or not? Is it useful, or not? Will it keep us on the road, or detour us off course?

2. Select. Eliminate.

Apple founder and CEO Steve Jobs would often say, “Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do.” He would then usually explain that, “Good things have to be set aside so that we can do really, really great things.” 

To select is to eliminate. We all have limited time and energy. Choice allows us to cut through the thicket of what’s possible and carve out a path we can follow. The famously groundbreaking modern painter Piet Mondrian claimed that the most difficult brush stroke in any painting is the very first one. Prior to that, the blank canvas presents to the artist infinitely many possibilities. The first stroke begins a process of elimination. To choose is to exclude. When we do this, we can’t also do that. 

Without elimination, there is no selection. You may think you’ve made a new choice, and set a new goal, but if that hasn’t resulted in the exclusion of other contrary behaviors, you really don’t have a new goal at all. “No” is just as important than “Yes,” and must be much more frequent. 

3. Use the Perspective of Purpose.

How then can you be properly selective? You can use the perspective of purpose. 

I’ve suggested that clear goals help us to identify and eliminate distractions that would get in the way of our progress. But how do we set the right goals in the first place? By having a solid sense of purpose and mission for what we’re doing. Why do we exist as a company or department or institution? What’s our purpose? Why am I doing what I'm doing? Those should be questions that everyone can ask and answer, in their own context. A strong sense of purpose brings with it both a motivation to focus and a power to do so well. 

Aristotle understood long ago that we humans are essentially purposeful beings. When we have a purpose we can believe in, then it will by nature guide our behavior in a way that external forces can never threaten or replicate. Buying in to a purpose is just setting your heart and mind in a particular direction, and on a specific road, and one that inherently involves the strength of focus. 

I think we can say even more. Focus is destiny. What we focus on determines what we become and accomplish. Vagueness is the enemy of excellence. Focus is its engine.

Philosophy as Necessary

What can help provide the stepping stones to the future we most want and deserve?

You can likely guess my answer: philosophy.

In a fascinating essay in Sunday's New York Times Book Review, where he ruminates on the nature of our culture right now, which can look very non philosophical, Leon Wieseltier nevertheless wrote:

Wherever mortal beings are thoughtful about their mortality, and finite beings ponder their finitude, at whatever level of intellectual articulation, there is philosophy. Philosophy is ubiquitous and inalienable; even the discourse about the end of philosophy is philosophy.

And while Wieseltier is correct in what he says, as far as he goes, it's not just when we're contemplating our mortality or finitude that we're engaging in philosophy. As he hints later in his essay, whenever we're trying to figure out real matters of worth, we're doing philosophy.

In our work lives, we're always thinking about the setting and attaining of goals. We do that in our personal lives, too, if we have any measure of ambition concerning personal growth and change. But whenever we think of goals and the means to them, the question will always arise, at least implicitly, as to what goals are worth our pursuit and what means or methods are worth our time and energy. And those questions can't fully be answered without a sense of what sort of life is worth living. And that's the core of philosophy, in it's most practical and existential mode.

What's worthy of us? What's a waste? Who do I want to be? What am I becoming, as a result of what I'm doing? Does a certain activity lift me up, or lower me down? These are serious questions, but asking them and guiding our lives by them doesn't require that we be serious in the sense of somber. We can have fun in all the best ways. We can play and frolic, mentally and physically. We can enjoy immensely what the world has to offer, while still guiding our steps with wisdom and what the ancients called virtue, their own concept for personal strength, or power. 

Philosophy may be one of the most under-appreciated necessities in life. But that doesn't keep it from being necessary. The more we come to appreciate it, the better we can do it, and the more our lives benefit, as a result. Let it help provide you with the stepping stones to the future you most want and deserve.

Crazy Big Goals

This week, the world watched Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson climb the Dawn Wall of El Capitain, in Yosemite National Park, over a stretch of 19 days. We all applauded in amazement as they struggled and succeeded at what's often described as the most challenging rock climb in the world. It was the first time the 3,000 foot sheer rock face had ever been taken on in a single expedition while using just hands and feet, rather than with the artificial means climbers have employed before. And there were many little failures that came before the crazy big outrageous success. I heard a television commentator put it well when he said about one of the guys: "He fell and fell and fell, until he didn't."

And that, in itself, is a great lesson.

Afterwards, Jorgeson said, "I hope it inspires people to find their own Dawn Wall, if you will. We've been working on this thing a long time, slowly and surely. I think everyone has their own secret Dawn Wall to complete one day, and maybe they can put this project in their own context."

As I read the details of their longtime dream, preparation, and execution of the climb, I saw the philosophers' 7 Cs of Success all through the story. Tommy and Kevin had:

C1 - A clear CONCEPTION of what they wanted, a vivid vision, a goal clearly imagined

C2 - A strong CONFIDENCE they could reach that goal

C3 - A focused CONCENTRATION on what it would take

C4 - A stubborn CONSISTENCY in pursuing their vision

C5 - An emotional COMMITMENT to what they were doing

C6 - A good CHARACTER to guide and keep them on course

C7 - A CAPACITY TO ENJOY the process along the way.

Whenever we see exceptional achievement in the world, we'll see the implementation and operation of these seven simple conditions that I've been speaking on for over 25 years. During that quarter of a century, I've seen many people get excited about The 7 Cs of Success but never apply them systematically in their lives, and others whose excitement translated into a relentless application of the conditions and a level of success that astonished everyone around them.

The philosophers can preach to us all day long, but it's what we learn by seeing people like Tommy and Kevin live their dream that really brings home to us how the right approach to anything can turn Crazy Big Goals into Crazy Big Success Stories.

Now. Go create your own.

Oh. And if you want to read more, go see the books True Success, or The Art of Achievement, or the big, comprehensive study of how the great thinkers have brought us these ideas and suggested that we use them, the new ebook, The 7 Cs of Success.

Values and Goals

This week, I'm reflecting a bit on goals, and I'll try to say some new things. Typically, we select new goals as a result of our desires and our values. Most of us have more desires than we ought to pursue. Our values help select which should be transformed into goals.

A goal is a guide to action. A value is a guide to action. So, then, what's the difference?

I've written that a goal is a commitment of the will. But then so is a value. A value is a commitment of the will. So, then, what's the difference?

On the simplest level, a goal is a specific commitment and a value is a general one.

But we can say more. A goal is a specific commitment to bring something about - to create or contribute to a certain result in the realm of fact. A value is a general commitment to honor, respect, protect, embody, or enact a quality or concern.

Some people confuse goals and values. They say, "Our goal this year is outstanding customer service." But that's too vague to be a goal. It isn't specific enough as to what fact will be created and how it will be measured or recognized. Outstanding Customer Service isn't a good or proper goal. But it's a great value. It's a fantastic general commitment that can suggest specific goals that are easily measurable and recognizable.

Values generate goals. But here's the equally important news. Values generate other values. For any value that suggests a new goal, there are often other values that lie behind it. And it's just as important to have the right values behind your choices and actions as it is to have the right goals.

Let me explain. If your commitment in the new year is outstanding customer service, if that's a driving value for you, then you should ask yourself why. Why do I value outstanding customer service?

Maybe, on reflection, you will come to realize that you want to be well known, or even famous for pleasing your customers. You want the praise and the reputation that will result. You also may value the financial benefits that often accrue to people who deliver great customer service. These are all common answers. And there's nothing wrong with wanting these things. People can properly value praise, reputation, and wealth. But they aren't the best ultimate values to drive the more immediate value of outstanding customer service.

Here's the contrast. There are other individuals who ask "Why?" about the value of outstanding customer service, and end up with the answer, "Because I really care about other people, and they always deserve the best I can give." That answer expresses the values of altruism and personal excellence. Those are the greatest drivers of more immediate values. Those are the answers that will help you to set, pursue, and stay consistent with the best and most worthy goals. Ironically, they'll also give you a better reputation, and often more wealth, than the guy just chasing reputation and wealth.

The commitments behind our commitments matter. They are where we get our ultimate strength. If you can get your inner house in order, at the deepest levels, you can fly the highest and do the best over the longest time frame. And that's the power of values.

Our Desires and the World

"Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they're finished." - Daniel Gilbert.

It's often been said that there are two big-scale strategies for living:

1. Seek to conform the world to your desires.

2. Seek to conform your desires to the world.

The idea behind the choice is that unhappiness resides in a gap between our desires and the way things are in the world around us. If we can eliminate the gap, theorists reason, unhappiness will vanish with it. And, obviously, the two strategies outlined in such stark simplicity are two ways of effecting that elimination.

But. of course, this, like many things that are often said, is just wrong. It presumes that our desires are either perfectly Ok as they are, at any given time, and should be imposed on the world around us, or that they are always wrong, in some sense, and in need of replacement by alternatives that reflect the way things already are. The truth is more balanced and more liberating than either alternative would suggest.

At any given time, for the vast majority of us, some of our desires are altogether proper, and some aren't. Of the latter, some aren't realistic regarding what's possible, others are not right for who we are, and still others are just, in some other sense, wrong ill-formed, or ill-advised. There's an old motivational adage, "If you can dream it, you can do it." But this saying, on top of its magical thinking, brackets the question of whether a particular dream should be ushered into reality.

Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert had it right. We're all works in progress. That means that we can and should change. But so should the world around us. We're all in a state of becoming. And so is the world. We're here to learn and to make, to grow and to influence. Some of our desires should be the basis for goals, and for changing the world around us. Some of them should be merely the basis for new levels of self knowledge, and then should be set aside as we grow and mature and become more perceptive.

The potter molds the clay. The clay molds the potter. The former is quick and clear. The latter is slow and subtle.

We properly seek to conform the world to some of our desires. And we properly seek to conform other desires to what we learn from the world. Then, we also rightly develop new desires and insightful aspirations that will transform us within, and perhaps, in that way, allow us to creatively transform the world around us, as well. But this insight doesn't as easily fit onto a bumper sticker or T shirt. And it's important to realize that we need not desire it to.