Gisele and The Power of Positive Energy

The New York Times just ran a remarkable piece on the Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen. As she was reflecting on her early days in modeling, Gisele says:

"In the beginning, you know, everyone told me, 'Your eyes are too small, the nose is too big, you can never be on a magazine cover."

Then she adds:

"But, you know what? The big nose comes with a big personality."

The experts were completely wrong, as experts very often are when faced with something new. Gisele's net worth as a model is now estimated to exceed 300 million dollars, and Forbes puts her daily income at around $128,000. She's also appeared eleven times on the cover of American Vogue. The Times reporter is surprised when she says, "My career was never based on pretty." But then the designer Angela Missoni explains:

"With Gisele, there is something different, her energy. Of course, she is super beautiful, but she has this charisma, this presence, this very sexy normality."

Gisele herself attributes her extraordinary success to her energy, hard work, and innate positive attitude that finds the best in any bad situation. Others comment on her grit and ability to rise to the occasion, whatever the circumstances. And it could very well be that the very "imperfections" or "flaws" that everyone complained about at first were actually among the secrets of her success. She had a new and different look. And her inner spirit lit up all the cameras that were turned in her direction.

Of course, there are numerous lessons in such a story. First, that the experts and gatekeepers in almost any industry or walk of life are probably among the least likely to see and appreciate something new and great that comes their way. In politics, fashion, and almost everywhere else, the experts are often among those most baffled by the next new thing.

Second, the inner is more important than the outer in almost any quest for success. Energy, grit, hard work, and a positive attitude can take any of us far.

Third, those things that other people consider to be your flaws might just be important stepping stones to future success. My friend Dave Rendall has a very good book on this called The Freak Factor, and is busy traveling the world explaining to people the strange and yet common alchemy of turning weakness into strength.

Many people are writing recently to tell me about passages early on in my new book The Oasis Within that are helping them greatly to deal with the sort of negativity and obstacles that Gisele initially faced in her career. I'm so happy to hear that the conversations of my characters are making a difference with wisdom people can use! If you have had a good experience with the book but haven't yet let me know, please write me through the website TomVMorris.com and share your story!

Amazon and The Warrior Virtues

Do you need a work environment that pushes you relentlessly to be tougher and better at what you do? Is it good to have harsh feedback and to be pressured during all your waking hours? Will that make you dig deep and excel? Is it legitimate to treat a business as involving something even remotely like Navy Seal Training?

There's been a lot written recently about the retail giant Amazon and its company culture. A New York Times article unleashed the firestorm of controversy when it portrayed Amazon as a modern Darwinian jungle where there is survival only of the toughest and most ruthless. Some former employees have subsequently written their own accounts of how difficult and demanding an environment it can be, while others have taken issue with the portrayal in the Times and agree with Jeff Bezos that the brutal description there is nothing like the real environment of the company. I don't want to wade into the controversy over this one organization or its values, but simply to comment on the main issue I see the controversy as raising.

Aristotle, along with the tradition following his lead, long ago identified a set of virtues, or strengths for human life - characteristics that empower us in any challenging situation - that we benefit from embodying as we live and work with other people. Those virtues include the following, with the now old fashioned labels, and my gloss on what they mean:

Courage - A commitment to do what's right, in the face of risk

Temperance - Moderation and proper self-restraint

Liberality - A freedom in giving to others what can help them

Magnificence - A capacity for acting on a big, or grand, scale

Pride - A true sense of honor and worthiness

Good Temper - An inner calm displayed outwardly

Friendliness - The demeanor of treating others sociably

Truthfulness - A strong disposition toward honesty

Wittiness - The ability to see and express humor appropriately

Justice - A basic commitment to treating others well.

It's quite a list. And it has some initially surprising components, considering that the virtues add up to what Aristotle saw as good character. In my books If Aristotle Ran General Motors, and If Harry Potter Ran General Electric, I suggest that these are universally great qualities to have, in business and in life.

But prior to Aristotle, the ancient Greeks, joining people from most other early cultures, had their focus on another set of virtues, or strengths, what we can insightfully call "The Warrior Virtues" - qualities that empower us in times of physical warfare. Here's a representative list, that starts with the same quality to be found at the top of Aristotle's list:

Courage

Physical Power: Force, Stamina, Endurance

Mental Acuity: Perceptiveness, Clarity

The Ability to Adapt and Create

A Disdain for Mediocrity

An Intolerance for Weakness

Craftiness

The Ability to Deceive Convincingly

Fierceness: An Intensity just short of Brutality

A Willingness to Kill

We might also call these The Homeric Virtues, as in the west, we first encounter them, typically, in Homer's ancient poetry. It's well known, and has often been noted, that American business leaders throughout most of modern corporate history have very often had athletic backgrounds or military experience. Given the widely recognized fact that most sport in some way re-enacts warfare, it's then safe to say that most business leaders have had experience with, and a tendency to embrace at least most of the Homeric Virtues, the warrior virtues. And some very tough corporate environments are a lot like the military in times of war. The demands are high, excuses are not allowed, and everyone is expected to be utterly dedicated to the mission. In some circumstances, companies have risen and succeeded by emphasizing at least most of the warrior virtues. And at least some people in those companies can appear to flourish as individuals in such an environment. But I think we have good reason to question or reject the application of at least a couple of those virtues outside contexts of real physical battle. I hope you instantly join me in that rejection. In fact, I've argued in several of my books that the subset of warrior virtues that do apply in business endeavors need to be guided and constrained by the more Aristotelian virtues, as well as by such transcendentals as Truth, Beauty, Goodness, and Unity - what I call The Four Foundations of Greatness.

The problem often seen in companies that exalt the warrior virtues in isolation from an Aristotelian framework and The Four Foundations is that the warrior mentality quickly and easily becomes a cloak for something very different than a quest for excellence. And, in fact, you begin to see what I like to call counterfeit warrior virtues:

Arrogance

Callousness

Vengefulness

Cruelty

Sadism

Rapacity

A Touch of Evil

And this is clearly not a recipe for a great company culture, to put it mildly. But this is exactly what you often get when people proudly focus on the warrior virtues as centrally ingredient in their enterprises. The warrior mindset outside any real battle field easily becomes a cloak for vices to pass as virtues, and the whole environment quickly turns poisonous.

When people say "Business is War" or even just that "Business is Sport," the danger is that they can easily break loose from the civic virtues of Aristotle, and stray into the realm of warfare virtues where counterfeits easily tempt people in any leadership or management position to create a thoroughly corrosive and corrupt enterprise that will eventually collapse of its own weight.

Again, I don't write this to point a finger at any particular company, but only to warn of something vitally dangerous that is often seen in corporate contexts where it can do only great harm. The war we do need to fight is to bring the Aristotelian virtues front and center, supported by The Four Foundations. Then greatness can be both attained, and sustained.

Corporate Values That Work

The New York Times has recently stirred the pot on issues of corporate culture and working conditions in America. Some philosophical issues are being talked about anew that I think are crucial for any business. 

In 1997, my book If Aristotle Ran General Motors: The New Soul of Business was published. It was all about what it takes to create a great company culture - whether it's a big company like GM or a small mom and pop business or anything in between. I came to realize that the principles and values that make for great workplaces apply just as well to any friendship or marriage. We're people wherever we are. And we have certain deep needs that will govern what we're able to accomplish in any situation. What then does it take for people to feel great together and do great things in their interactions, in their relationships? Aristotle and the other practical philosophers had some amazing insight for this.

When that book of mine was first out and I was flying coast-to-coast to be on radio and television shows promoting it, the one person interviewing me who had read it the most carefully and thoughtfully was Matt Lauer, on the NBC Today Show. We had nearly nine minutes of conversation about it on the show, which is forever in morning TV time. He told me that, in his opinion, the book captured everything he believed about ethics, and he even asked if it was Ok if he quoted from the book in some talks he was going to be giving about ethics in journalism. But he also challenged me that day by asking me whether American corporations were really ready to become great places to work, focusing attention on such things as Truth, Beauty, Goodness, and Unity - the intellectual, aesthetic, moral, and spiritual values that my book was built around. There was even a chapter on "Business and the Meaning of Life." Matt wondered whether any big company could really pay attention to such an issue. Is there time? Is it business-efficient to care about such things? Would a necessary concern on the bottom line allow it? 

My answer was simple: Yes. People can't do their best over the long run unless they feel their best about what they're doing. Aristotle understood the deep role that our unconscious quest for happiness, or wellbeing, plays in any of our lives. And he knew that this is the most deeply motivating factor for anything we do. When we aren't happy in our work, when it doesn't contribute to our sense of deep fulfillment in our lives, we can't attain and sustain the highest, most creative excellence. Ultimately, meaning and mastery go together.

In a big front page essay called "Rethinking Work" in the New York Times Sunday Review this week, psychologist Barry Schwartz argues that companies had better pay attention to such issues. And Schwartz has evidently touched a nerve, because 24 hours later, it's the most emailed article in this week's paper. I commend it to your attention. And if it resonates with you, take a look at If Aristotle Ran General Motors and tell me what you think. In light of the recent controversies surrounding Amazon and corporate culture in America these days, I think we need to return to some of these issues. I'll likely write more about them this week.

Meanwhile, may you experience Truth, Beauty, Goodness, and Unity in what you do and where you do it. Aristotle would want it that way.

A Good, Virtuous Character

The New York Times Book Review recently asked two writers, Thomas Mallon and Alice Gregory, a question about characters in novels that's often been discussed before. It was posed like this: Can a Virtuous Character Be Interesting? The most common, received opinion is that a scoundrel, scalawag, deviant, or miscreant is much more interesting to read about than a normal garden-variety good guy. The argument usually given for such a view is simple. Imagine this story: A guy is born into a great and psychologically healthy family, he grows up around good friends, attends a fine school, is very nice himself, graduates from an ideal college, meets the perfect life partner, and lives happily ever after. It would not be the typical page turner. "Wait. I have to finish this chapter. Somebody just nicely asked our hero to pass the salt and I've got to see what form of graciousness he displays to comply!" 

We're often drawn to flawed characters. For one thing, we may see in them, on full parade, various traits that we've felt in ourselves and rightly suppressed. It's instructive and sometimes even fascinating to witness them fully developed and on display. In a related way, truly despicable characters in fiction make us look not so bad, after all, by contrast - which is surely one of the reasons reality television shows are so popular. And then, in another way, we may enjoy the insight that such portrayals can give us into the souls of people we actually have to deal with now and then outside the realms of novels.

Most good writers can provide long lists of baddies who have been more interesting to read about in the history of literature than almost any of the goodies. But should writers aspire more, and work harder, to depict goodness rather than focusing on so many types of evil?

Alice Gregory has something worthwhile to say about it all. She writes:

A truly radical 21st-century novelist wouldn’t ask us to see ourselves in made-up villains, and then, hopefully, revise our opinions of the real ones in our own lives. Rather, they would ask us to see the arduous and often acrobatic effort that goes into living a life of common decency. They would coerce us into believing that virtue is interesting and fun to think about and far more dazzling to encounter than malevolence.

In her 1947 book “Gravity and Grace,” Simone Weil wrote: “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.”

I think that's well said, both by Gregory and Weil.

I've just finished the most unexpected adventure in writing, over the course of my entire life, A movie started playing in my head one morning about four and a half years ago, and I immediately rushed to write down everything I was seeing and hearing. It was the most amazing process of writing I've ever experienced, and quite different from the rational and heavily planned creation of a nonfiction book of philosophy. The movie kept playing, and an entrancing prologue book, recounting a trip across the desert in Egypt in 1934, quickly came into being, and has been followed by seven subsequent much longer novels, so far. The prologue, The Oasis Within, is a short book just shy of 200 pages, and is going to be announced here soon, as it will be published within the month.

The Oasis Within, and its novel series that follows, are all my favorite books I've ever written. And the main characters are all very good guys. They display everyday virtue in dazzling ways. They do confront evil, and great danger, many times, and in wildly varied forms, but they are themselves great people I'd love to know. And they're the opposite of boring. In fact, they may be the most fascinating characters I've ever been introduced to, in any story. But maybe that's just me. And they confirm richly Alice Gregory's point.

I'll announce it here when the first of the eight books laying out their story is available. It will be very soon. A twenty-first century novelist is about to do something very different. 

Making Something Happen

The best people most often have a simple common tendency. They dwell not on how hard a task is, but on how to make it happen. In the New York Times Sunday Business section, the current CEO and President of Montblanc North America, Mike Giannattasio, talks about his office and his work life. At one point he says:

When I suggest that employees do something, they'll sometimes say, "It's not that easy." I gave everyone in the office a Staples Easy Button, and I tell them "You are able because you think you are able," which I've paraphrased from Virgil. People need a good understanding of what they can do.

I once heard that the New York Times was doing an article on bringing philosophy to a broader public audience. I had just published Philosophy for Dummies in the famous Dummies series of books, to help jump start their foray into the Humanities with the Metropolitan Museum of Art curator Thomas Hoving, who wrote for them the estimable Art for Dummies. I called the publicist for the series and told him what I'd heard about the Times piece being done, and that I'd love to be interviewed for the article. He said, in a trembling voice, "Well, I don't know. The New York Times is a REALLY big place." I sighed, and thanked him, and found the writer doing the article myself, and ended up being the lead person interviewed.

One of the smallest bestselling books ever written was on this precise problem. It's called, enigmatically, A Message to Garcia, and is by Elbert Hubbard. The President of the United States needed to get a message to a rebel leader named Garcia somewhere in Cuba. He was told that there was one man who could do the job, no matter what it took. The President summoned him and gave him the message. The messenger didn't ask where Garcia was, or explain how hard it might be to find him. He didn't make excuses, dwell on obstacles, or "manage expectations." He got going, took a boat, went into the jungle for three weeks, and accomplished his mission. Hubbard suggests that we almost never come across a person who is ready, willing, and able to do such a thing. Those who are able to take a message to Garcia will be the ones who make a big impact on the world.

If we're in a managerial or leadership position, how often do we ask someone to do something interesting and hear them say, "Well that's harder than you might think." And how often do we already know both exactly how hard it is and that the person we've asked can certainly do it if they actually try? And of course, most of us have also been on the other side of the request. I was once asked to do a talk about Steve Jobs. I could have said, "Well, I really don't know anything about Steve Jobs, and it would be really hard to put together a talk that was both original and helpful on him." But instead, I said, "Sure. Let me look into it. I'll come up with something great." And it was hard. And I made it happen. I've given that talk several times and even have the draft of a book based on it.

I've often said that if I was asked what the most important quality is that successful people share in common, I'd probably identify an overall action orientation - the proclivity toward making it happen, whatever the relevant "it" is, in context. They don't ignore obstacles. But they don't dwell on them either. The success mindset is one of making things happen.

And, no, that's not me at the top of this blog post. I still have hair. But not all great thinkers do. That's Seth Godin. Take his advice and mine. Go make something happen. Now.

The Unencumbered Life

Are the things we own blessings or burdens? Actually, do we own our stuff at all, or does it own us?

The New York Times ran a wild story this weekend about a French tech entrepreneur living in the US who has had a very unusual mid-life crisis. With an estimated net worth of 100 million dollars, Fabrice Grinda came to feel that all the great stuff he owned had become a burden that was actually keeping him from the more important things in life. So he decided to downsize radically and experience an unencumbered existence. He moved out of his huge mansion that sits on 20 acres of land in New York state, got rid of his $300,000 McLaren sports car, released his $13,000 a month apartment in the City, gave away tons of stuff, and kept only what he could fit into a roller bag suitcase and a backpack. He decided that he'd simply be a free spirit nomad and go live with his friends, one at a time, enjoying their company, rather than all that stuff. Having shed his physical burdens, however, he quickly became a major burden to each of those friends.

It seems that the wealthy man didn't do his own laundry, or make his own bed when he stayed with friends. He liked to talk loud, stay up really late, and eat everything in their refrigerators. He ended up giving all of them their own crises and learning as a result that the unencumbered life wasn't as easy as he had imagined.

This past week, I read several short novels by John Steinbeck, including the very funny Tortilla Flat, and the almost equally amusing Cannery Row, both of which are about groups of poor but festive characters in and around Monterey, California, in the early days of the twentieth century. They had no regular jobs, often slept in the woods, or in old, run down buildings that others provided, and managed to "find" food and wine on a fairly regular basis. They were scoundrels with hearts of gold. They lived off the generosity of their neighbors, but somehow thought of themselves as the real community benefactors. Their unencumbered lives gave them a special freedom, at least in their own minds. As you read their stories, you can't quite decide whether they present an extreme yet attractive ideal of the free spirit, or are really just completely irresponsible social parasites, living as slaves to their own peculiar instabilities and passing appetites, while depending on the charity, or gullibility, of others to support them. 

Both the stories of Steinbeck and the peculiar tale of Fabrice Grinda raise the question: Are the things we own indeed blessings or burdens? Do we actually have possession of them, or do they have possession of us? Are the many responsibilities of ownership to be avoided or embraced?

You may not be surprised to hear that most of the great practical philosophers have said, "It depends." On what? Attitude and intent. Your proclivities, enjoyments, and tolerances. I've known people with four or five big houses. They seemed unburdened by the responsibility. They knew how to manage the complexity. They thoroughly enjoyed what they had. And it didn't at all appear to constrain their freedom. There are, of course, also big  moral issues deep in the background, behind all lavish lifestyles, matters of global scope and existential perplexity, but my friends have seemed unburdened by those, as well. We can't solve all the world's problems. But we can solve some of our own.

The point of responsibility is to grow us as souls. Our commitments, to people, endeavors, and things, form us. We can make bad commitments or good ones. How do they function in our lives? That's the central question. It's all about functionality. Can we do great and valuable things with the people, endeavors, and things in our lives? Do they serve to enrich us, or to burden us? The things we own need to be maintained, repaired, protected, and, of course, used. And we all differ as to where the point is that this becomes a problem rather than something we can enjoy. We typically don't discover our limits in such matters except by crossing them and finally seeing them from the other side. That's part of what keeps fantasy alive for those who haven't reached their limits, yet.

Throughout history, ascetics have believed that the path to salvation lies in ridding ourselves of all our stuff and then opening ourselves to the spirit. But as a philosopher, I believe that the second, and ultimately important, activity does not depend on the first. Physical things can become a spiritual obstacle, but they need not be, in proper measure and with the right role in our lives.

The Oracle at Delphi proclaimed, "Nothing in Excess." What counts as excess for you? Are you living on the far side of it, and suffering from that? Do you need to make some adjustments? Fabrice Grinda came to believe he needed to make a radical change. But like many, he went too far, and has been schooled, as a result, in moderation. I guess that's hard when your finances tell you anything's possible. But regardless of what our net worth might whisper to us, many good things are possible, and they depend on our own discernment, a function of wisdom. It's the path of wisdom to choose properly. Don't let a culture of materialism dictate your life and put you in chains. And it's just as important to avoid false fantasies of freedom. Pick your own proper way. And that, ultimately, depends on the Oracle's second main injunction, "Know Yourself."

Action, Opportunity, and Impact

We all know that personal action is required to take advantage of opportunities in life. Otherwise, they lie inert for us and then dissipate. But there's also a deeper perspective available. In Adam Bryant's New York Times column "Corner Office," Lori Senecal, Global CEO of ad agency C. P. &B. and CEO of the MDC Partner Network said something interesting this week while reflecting back on her own graduation from college and going for her first job. She got an offer and decided to take it without even realizing what all it involved. She comments:

That was a time when I embraced one of the philosophies that I go back to a lot today, which is that action creates opportunity. I didn’t know what the nature of the job would be, but I knew that if I took action, other possibilities would appear, and they did. Ever since then, I’ve often thought about action creating opportunity.

Bryant later asked her what advice she would give to new college graduates, and she said:

I talk to them about action creating opportunity. So dive in, and great things will come of it. The other thing I like to focus on is the importance of impact. You have to learn to prioritize the impact opportunities rather than just being busy. There’s an infinite amount of things that you can do, but focus on the things that will catapult the company and your career forward.

Action and opportunity - action and impact: Two vital connections. Taking action in reasonable ways, in ways that are right for us, creates opportunities, and then among those that arise, we should choose to act further on the ones that will have the greatest likely impact for good on the world, our businesses, and our own careers. Well directed action is the key, at both levels.

This is the philosophy I call activism. It's up to us to take action. Do things that matter, both by creating new possibilities, and by having impact. This is nice advice to keep in mind, not just for recent graduates, but for all of us along life's way.

Where's Your Cow or Goat?

I believe we all have a spiritual need to feel useful, to take action to make a difference in the world, on however big or small a scale. And I also think that this provides us with an important hint as to how we should approach each day.

In a recent New York Times article, Nicholas Kristof reported on some new studies on whether philanthropic giving really makes a difference, long term, for people living in poverty. It turns out that the most effective giving involves a cow, or a goat, or chickens. Seeds also help. What doesn't help much, it seems, is money. It's all about a certain way of giving hope, through an opportunity for action.

When impoverished people are given a useful animal, one that can provide milk or eggs, as well as a form of companionship, and almost a sort of partnership, they become more active generally in their lives. They work more, they take more odd jobs, they have a new form of hope. They've been given the possibility of an activity, a usefulness in their own lives, that can make a difference for how they and their families live. And this is a form of giving that works. You know the old adage about giving a man a fish, or teaching him how to fish. Research now bears this out in more ways that we might have imagined.

And this provides a hint for all of us. How much time do you spend wishing things were better, or simply regretting the way things are? Most of us perceive a gap between where we are and where we'd like to be. And it bothers us. We worry about it. Or we even resent it. Sometimes, we feel hopeless to change it. Imagining how things could be better can almost take the wind out of our sails, if we stay passive in those imaginings.

But here's the insight: We all need a cow or a goat or some chickens. We need seeds. But then we need to plant the seeds. It's not merely having a cow, but taking action and milking it. It's not just the companionship of chickens, the camaraderie of the coop, but gathering the eggs that makes a big difference for impoverished people.

And here's something universal. We all need to feel a sense of control over our destinies. Desperately poor people given a cow develop that sense and experience hope. They're given a path, something they can do to feel some measure of control over their destinies. We all need that.

It seems to me that we all have a spiritual need for a sense of usefulness, and control, and action. We need to feel that we can begin to close the gap between what is and what could be. For me, the cow, or goat, might be my personal library, or my computer, or my website. I can read and discover. I can write. For you, it might be the same thing. Or something about your job could be it. Or a friend may provide you, through your relationship with him or her, that metaphorical goat, or those chickens you need. But remember that you need to take action.

When we see opportunity, we feel a glimmer of hope, and that combined with real actions, however small, can create a path forward.

What's your cow? What's your goat? Where are your chickens? When we clearly identify our opportunities and act on them daily, we begin to close the gap and move into our proper future with the feeling of hope that will help to get us there.

Life's Lemons

Ten years ago, I realized I knew a lot of people who had trouble dealing with change in their lives. I would get asked over and over, "What do you do when bad things happen, or disappointing things, unexpected and difficult things?" People wanted strategies for handling challenges in their lives.

I had grown up hearing the old adage, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," which pretty much sums up the attitude of the ancient stoic philosophers toward the problem, but in my childhood no one who repeated these words also explained how to do it. How do you turn lemons into lemonade? So I got to work, reading all the great thinkers on the topic, and writing my own book of advice. It was called "Lemonade!" Then I changed the name to "Lemons to Lemonade" and after 24 total re-writes, it became "Plato's Lemonade Stand: Stirring Change into Something Great." Previous versions have been turned down by publishers 45 times, because they're not convinced that a practical book about the personal alchemy needed to turn something sour into something sweet will sell. I'm convinced they're wrong. And whenever I've done the ideas on retreats, people have insisted on having the book available. No one has seen the newest version yet. And I really, really like it. But I'm prepared for more lemonade making before someone in the world of publishing says, "Wait. People need this."

In the Sunday Business Section of the New York Times, Adam Bryant had a very interesting interview with the fashion designer and design mogul Diane von Furstenberg. Let me give you one Q&A:

Q. You’ve said many times that your mother was your biggest influence. What are the most important lessons you learned from her?

A. My mother was a Holocaust survivor and, having survived 13 months in the concentration camps, she taught me that fear is not an option. And no matter what happens, never be a victim. Life is a journey, and when you face obstacles the only thing you can do is accept them and embrace the reality. Very often, with things that are bad or not what you wanted, it’s your job to turn them into something positive.

I love the sentiment about accepting obstacles. Maybe the things that block your path can be taken up and assembled into just the bridge you need. That last sentence of the answer says it all:

Very often, with things that are bad or not what you wanted, it’s your job to turn them into something positive.

That's one of the enduring themes of the practical philosophers. And it's become something I believe deeply. So, when you face your next challenge, difficulty, or disappointment, get out a paring knife, some sugar, ample ice, and whatever additional spices you think you'll like, and make from the lemons that confront you some world class lemonade. Plato would have wanted it.

A Better Model For Decisions

How we think about choices can help us or hinder us in making them. I suspect that most of us carry around, in the backs of our minds, an inappropriate model for decision making that actually gets in our way and trips us up.

Many of us approach decisions as we would a True-False Test - there's a right answer and a wrong one. Take the new job, or stay in the old job. Move across the country, or remain where we are. True, or False. The difference is that we haven't previously learned in any sort of class which is which, and so we're in the old dreaded situation of guessing.

Sometimes, the Multiple Choice exam question might seem to be a more accurate rendering of how we think: There are many options for how I could approach my work or my life right now, and only one of them is best. Depending on the circumstances and the options, this can seem to capture a decision situation better than the True-False. But normally, it still puts on us a pressure that's totally unnecessary.

Philosopher Ruth Chang has an interesting Op Ed in the New York Times relevant to this. She says we often approach life decisions as a maximizing gain, minimizing loss scenario, and assume that if we could just get at the right facts out there in the world, the decision would be made for us. And she suggests that this isn't so. She counsels instead that when the options are at least "on a par" - there's no obvious best path forward, and we could live with either - we ought to ask what we could best commit ourselves to. It isn't a matter of guessing, but of commitment.

My suggestion is this. Decision making is less like an exam and more like an art. Every choice we make is a stroke on the canvas, a chip in the marble, a move in the dance. It's not necessarily a matter of True-False, or of picking The One Right Answer. It's a matter of "What's the next move we can feel really good about making?" And that aligns with Ruth Chang's consideration of commitment. What do you want? What can you commit to best?

When you think like that, you don't worry so much about "getting it wrong" and making a big mistake. Your thinking is more positive than protective, more about wants than about wariness. And that can liberate you to be the artist that you, deep down, are capable of being.

Dump the Grump

In a recent op ed in the New York Times, Arthur C. Brooks tells an interesting story. He spoke not long ago at a Mormon university, Brigham Young, and his hosts gave him all sorts of BYU branded paraphernalia, including a very nice briefcase with the school's name on it. At first, he says, as a non-Morman and not a graduate of the school, he hesitated carrying it, but it was really nice, and so he finally started to travel with it. And something strange happened. Carrying around the name of a Mormon school, he began to reflect on the virtues that Mormons are known for, like friendliness and courtesy. And, without ever deciding to, he found himself becoming more friendly and courteous, and helpful to people in airports. He came to realize that he had started acting like the people who gave him the briefcase.  He even felt happier, he says, "almost like magic." And, he writes:

But it wasn’t magic. Psychologists study a phenomenon called “moral elevation,” an emotional state that leads us to act virtuously when exposed to the virtue of others. In experiments, participants who are brought face to face with others’ gratitude or giving behavior are more likely to display those virtues themselves.

He's right. Exposure is morally contagious. What we're associated with, or around a lot, gets under our skin, and into our personalities. There's a bunch of research showing that we become like the people we're around, in a good or bad way. Hang out with cheerful, friendly, optimistic and upbeat people, and you'll tend to become one of them. Hang out with grumps, and you'll end up in the dumps. 

There's an easy solution. Dump the grump. Ok, not the cat, but you know what I mean. Read better stuff. Take care what you watch continually on tv. As a result, you may not only act better, but feel better, "almost like magic."

Fear and The Value That Overcomes It

A great profile of the novelist Marilynne Robinson in the New York Times a few days ago begins like this:

This June, as a grandfather clock rang the quarter-hour in her modest Iowa City living room, the American novelist and essayist Marilynne Robinson, a woman of 70 who speaks in sentences that accumulate into polished paragraphs, made a confession: “I hate to say it, but I think a default posture of human beings is fear.” Perched on the edge of a sofa, hands loosely clasped, Robinson leaned forward as if breaking bad news to a gentle heart. “What it comes down to — and I think this has become prominent in our culture recently — is that fear is an excuse: ‘I would like to have done something, but of course I couldn’t.’

Fear. It's amazing how often it holds us back, largely because we don't realize our own greatness, our deep resources, our resilience, and the magnificent purposes we can enact in this life. Marilynne Robinson is a believer in who we are, in our most fundamental souls. She's a religious novelist who has the rare, uncanny ability to depict goodness in compelling ways.

I wanted to bring this essay to your attention because I enjoyed it so much and I suspect you might, as well. In it, she says such things as:

“Being and human beings,” Robinson told me, “are invested with a degree of value that we can’t honor appropriately. An overabundance that is magical.”

It's good to be reminded of our astonishing core value, as human beings, in a world that often ignores it in so many ways, in favor of counterfeit values.

Robinson is a person who, learning her own value, and realizing the value that the rest of us embody, has not let any form of fear hold her back, but has launched out into a brave venture of writing that can show us, in subtle adumbrations, who we really are. And her honest boldness has garnered her both a Pulitzer Prize and a National Humanities Medal, in addition to many critical accolades.

Go check out her books here. I've started with Gilead.

I think you'd enjoy reading about her. It may spark a new sense of value in your life.

Today.

Sunday Bonus: Kobe and Arianna on Success

There's a remarkable conversation in the New York Times today. The writer Philip Galanes sits down with Kobe Bryant, thought by many to be our greatest active basketball player, and Arianna Huffington, founder of the Huffington Post and bestselling author, to talk about their struggles and successes, difficulties and coping mechanisms. I recommend it heartily. It's chock full of great insights and reminders. 

For example, I often speak on the topic of True Success - what the great philosophers have said that it takes for satisfying and sustainable achievement in any challenge. I've isolated seven universal conditions for success, from the world's deepest wisdom literature through the centuries, and tested these conditions repeatedly in the lives of contemporary people. I call them The 7 Cs of Success (as in "Seven Seas"). In the briefest statement, in any major challenge, we need: a clear Conception, a strong Confidence, a focussed Concentration, a stubborn Consistency, an emotional Commitment, a good Character, and a Capacity to Enjoy the Process along the way.

Kobe and Arianna speak of, or allude to, many of these tools for achievement in their fascinating exchange. The two have known each other for a while, because Kobe often seeks out highly successful people in other fields, hoping to enhance his own understanding of achievement.

At one point, we get, for example, relevant to my C7 - a Capacity to Enjoy the Process and my own repeated insistence that life is supposed to be a series of adventures, of journeys we enjoy as we move toward our goals:

KB: My heroes growing up, the Jordans, the Bill Russells, the Magic Johnsons, they all won multiple times. I wanted more. But it wasn't just the result. It was the journey to get there.

PG: You like the process?

KB: I love the process. The result comes later.

AH: He talks the same way about getting back to the game after injuries: doing the research, collecting the team. Kobe found joy in rehab. That's amazing because so many people are goal-oriented only.

Joy in rehab. Who would even think of that?

Go read more, about sleep, meditation, struggle, focus, and so much more. Click to read it here. And have a great day.