Big Trees, Deep Roots

The other day, I spent the afternoon on the wide front porch wrapped around a beautiful house that was built in 1830. A great breeze cooled us as my family and I watched boats glide down the Intracoastal Waterway, and gazed on the homes of Wrightsville Beach, along the Atlantic Ocean, just across from us. Some of the oak trees on the property were amazing - with trunks so thick you couldn't get your arms around them, and soaring into the sky. There was even a tree house on the one acre property, built high in a spreading oak in 1904, and with a spiral metal staircase rising up to it. 

The house had stood and the trees had grown through nearly two centuries of coastal storms, as well as sunshine. And both the storms and the beautiful days had contributed to the beauty we experienced.

I was reminded of a statement once made by one of my favorite stoic philosophers, Seneca, who wrote this in first century Rome, in an essay called "On Providence":

Why, then, do you wonder that good men are shaken in order that they may grow strong? No tree becomes rooted and sturdy unless many a wind assails it. For by its very tossing, it tightens its grip and plants its roots more securely - the fragile trees are those that have grown in a sunny valley. It is, therefore, to the advantage of good men, to the end that they may be unafraid, to live constantly amidst alarms and to bear with patience the happenings that are ills only to him who ill supports them.

As Florida Scott Maxwell wrote in her incredibly wise little book The Measure of My Days, the things that we most resist and dislike, the things that cause us the most worry and pain, are often the very things that strengthen and deepen us the most, if we do our best to respond well. The storms of life can work a magic in us that transforms us into the people we're capable of being. Remember that in your next storm. Put out deeper roots, and grow tall.

Stoic Joy. Natural Joy.

In preparation for a trip across the country not long ago, I did something I rarely do: I took one of my own books along to read. It was The Stoic Art of Living: Inner Resilience and Outer Results. It was published ten years ago, and I had not re read it since the early days after it first appeared on bookstore shelves. I tried to approach it objectively, as I would any book. And I have to admit that I really enjoyed it! I had forgotten various little discoveries I had made when I first wrote the original draft of the book, going back almost twenty years. The top three Roman stoics, the slave Epictetus, the prominent lawyer Seneca, and Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius had great and practical insights about life that can tremendously enhance our experience of the world today. Their wisdom, at its best, will never go out of style.

The stoics had many perspectives that can help us. Inner resilience is the best path for outer results. Things are not often what they seem. Most of our difficulties come not from the world, but from how we think about things in the world. Nothing can truly harm a good person. By changing our thoughts, we can change our lives. Nothing is to be feared. And I could go on. But, to me, perhaps chief among their insights was the claim that joy is our natural state.

Think about that for a second. Joy is our natural state. If any stoic philosopher was right in thinking this, then either you are experiencing joy right now, or there is some unnatural, unnecessary obstacle in your life blocking that joy, and it's an obstacle you can remove.

If you are, right now, in a state of joy, congratulations. If you aren't, then you should be asking yourself what's getting in the way. What's blocking you from the state of mind that should be your natural default setting? The possibilities are many. And you can't do anything about the ones operative in your life right now until you can identify them. The stoics were confident that, whatever the obstacles might be, you can eliminate them through controlling your emotions, and in turn, you can do that by controlling your thoughts. It's just that simple.

The stoics were philosophers who wanted to help us peel back the worry and anger, the suffering and agitation, the distraction and confusion that too often rules our lives, and get back to the natural state of joy. When we experience that natural joy, we flow forward with all the power that we're meant to have in this life. And that's the power, in the deepest sense, of love.

What's keeping us from it?

Difficulty, Struggle, Hardship, and Beauty

The greater the difficulty, the greater the glory.

 Cicero

Hardly anything worth doing is easy. But that’s ok. The harder we’ve had to work for something, the more we appreciate it once it happens. The great essaist Montaigne once made a related point when he said: “The honor of the conquest is rated by the difficulty.”

If you’re working toward a noble goal, something truly worth your time and effort, then don’t let it get you down when the process of realizing your dream takes a lot more time and work than you had imagined. Think about the sense of satisfaction that ultimately awaits you. And hang in there now. Satisfying success will justify your struggle.

"But what if I don't succeed after all the struggle?"

I'd be disappointed if you didn't ask. And yet, the answer is simple. If you succeed through struggle, you can grow. If you fail through struggle, you can grow. To grow is not to fail, but to succeed in one of our most important tasks in this life. So, if you struggle well, you can't completely fail. One way or the other, you succeed by growing.

Let me quote Elizabeth Kubler Ross:

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people don't just happen.

Difficulty, struggle, and hardship can create beauty, if we let it - beautiful results, beautiful growth, and a beautiful strength within. So, when you struggle, struggle with your head up, and your hope afloat. Something good can happen from this. Beauty can result.

The Treasure Within Trials

The gem cannot be polished without friction,

nor man perfected without trials.

Confucius

Life is sometimes a strange proposition. The things we enjoy the least are often the very things that we benefit from the most. Suffering can deepen us. Difficulties can help us grow.

The philosophical individual doesn’t go looking for trouble, but has this consolation when it comes knocking. Wisdom is never to be found except through the door of experience, and it tends to greet us most often after trouble. So take this attitude toward any trial:  It can be a friend in disguise. Ask yourself “What can I learn from this?” And don’t let any difficulty or temporary defeat stop your pilgrimage toward what really matters.