Goals and Problems

The secret connection of Goals and Problems don’t get talked about much.

The problems we face form us. Those that we choose define us.

Have you ever pondered the fact that when you set a new goal, you invite new problems into your life? Many situations around you and facts about the world that would have been of no special interest to you suddenly become problems when they stand between you and a goal you've chosen. Apart from that goal, they would not have counted as problems for you. Many of those situations you might never have noticed at all. Others would have come to your attention, but not as difficulties or hardships for you. They didn't impinge on you personally. Until you set the goal you wanted to pursue. And then suddenly, you begin to notice circumstances anew, as problematic, as obstacles, as irritations.

Other situations will develop as personal problems while you pursue your goal. You'll get yourself into hard places that you could have avoided. You'll face challenges that are of your own doing. But that's Ok. It's your goal, after all. And it's important to have goals, even though they bring problems. It's part of the package deal in this world. We'd have vastly fewer problems if we had no dreams, or aspirations, or goals. It's the purpose of our goals to stretch us and grow us. And they often do that through the problems they bring with them. And as the Roman poet Horace once said, we often find that, "The greater the difficulty, the greater the glory." We feel best about the success that comes out of challenge.

Therefore, hence, ergo. When you fall down, don't worry about it. Just pick yourself back up. Recall how the journey you're on may have brought you to this fall. You'd be back in your armchair without the goals you're pursuing. And you wouldn't be falling. But you wouldn't be going anywhere, either. And bouncing back from a fall may be just what you need.

So when you're facing a new problem, obstacle, or difficulty, ponder how your dreams and aspirations and goals may have brought it into your life. Embrace it with cheerfulness as a part of the process. Solving it may just give you the wisdom you need down the road. Even the sheer process of struggling with it might accomplish that same end. We're always becoming, never just doing. With the right attitude and practice, we can become great, falls and all.

The Obstacle as the Way

The bestselling author Ryan Holiday recently interviewed me for his mega email newsletter and sent me gift copies of some of his books. Today I just finished his empowering short book, The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph. Ryan presents the essence of stoic philosophy for modern living. Every obstacle is an opportunity for something good. It's up to us to use that obstacle to find the way forward, learning and growing as a result.

We waste too much time on irritation, frustration, anger, despondency, and sadness when things go wrong. We're in a world where things often will go differently than we expected and hoped, but rather than this being something we should be mad about, it's something we should accept, explore, and use well. How? By developing a can-do attitude in the toughest of situations. There's always a way forward. There's something to be learned. There's growth to be had. Maybe there's a new path to your goal, or a new goal that will be even better.

On reading Ryan’s fun and useful book, I became aware at a deeper level that my book The Oasis Within, and the Egyptian novels to which that is a prologue, are a deeply stoic study in exactly how to implement the wisdom of the ages wherever we are, and whatever we face.

In this book, Ryan is a stoic cheerleader for any of us who feel burdened, or blocked, frustrated, or frantic. He will help you to calm down, focus on the right things, and take action that will matter. Do yourself a favor. If you don't already know the stoics, get this book (after reading my own on the topic - The Stoic Art of Living - Ha!). If you do, you'll still enjoy its breezy conversational cadences and reminders through lots of great stories of how we human beings can make things work for us well, even the toughest of things!

Find the book HERE.

Hearing No: Some Advice that Sticks.

This past weekend, I came across the story of Vera Stout. She was working at an ammunition factory during the second world war - not the safest of jobs - while her two sons were serving in the Navy. One day, she had an idea about how ammo boxes could be sealed with a cloth based tape that would allow them to be opened more quickly, ripped right off, and maybe that would save time and lives for troops under fire.

She took the idea to her bosses. They said no.

That happens a thousand times a day, or maybe an hour, around the world. Someone has a new idea about how to improve things, or a conception for a new product or business, and the gate keepers say no. The boss, the manager, the supervisor, the agent, isn't impressed. It won't work. No thanks. Sorry.

Too many people then just meekly give up. Vera wasn't the sort, so she wrote a letter to the president, not of her company, but of the United States, telling him about her idea. And within weeks, she got a letter from the Navy thanking her and saying that her invention would be rolled out right away. And many claim that it did save lives. Plus, what would the rest of us do without her creation - duct tape?

When you hear no, it's often more about the person rejecting your idea than the idea itself. Sometimes, the best thing to do is stick to your dream like the sturdiest duct tape.