Old Age: Sneak. Thief. Guide.

If you live long enough, old age will some day begin to sneak up on you. There's a pain here, a strain there. Some food you've always loved starts bothering you. Too much cabernet or champagne will suddenly make you snore. Or at least, if other people's reports are to be trusted. It doesn't all happen at once. And each thing, in itself, can normally be explained away. 

What makes old age such a sneaky thief is that when it starts to take things away from you, it typically most often brings them back - at least, at first, and for a time. You're hobbling around with a back injury, unable to do your normal stuff. And then a few days or a few weeks later, the pain goes away. The stiffness disappears. Oh, Ok. I'm fine.

Or age takes away, bit by bit, your natural ability to sleep solidly through the night. You have lots of fitful evenings. You're exhausted. And maybe cranky. And then you have one or two or more deep slumbers again. Oh, Ok. I'm fine. It was just the full moon, or the dog moving around too much, or those neighbors, or that spicy burger.

That's what makes old age so tricky. It takes away and then often gives back, and it's typically so subtle about its depredations that you can almost always, for a while, blame something else. 

Now, I'm saying this as a youth of 62. I'm stronger than I've ever been in my life, and vigorous and energetic in almost every possible way. And yet, when I go crazy in the gym, it's easier to mess up that rotor cuff, or those hip flexors, and then I'm semi-benched for a while, until I come back, full force, but a little more cautious. My greatest strength and weakness at once is that I'm a person of extremes. And youthful resilience will tolerate extremes that middle age, and the early onset of maturity may not so readily indulge.

I have a friend who at 92 just published his memoir and has been on book tour promoting the autobiography on most of the major talk shows. He gives me hope. But he may even slow down in ten or twenty years. Most of his peers are already not as full of life and energy.

It looks like old age is going to eventually take away pretty much everything we have. It will take away beauty and power and all sorts of possibilities. In some cases, it seems to rob people of most everything they are, at least in this world. And yet, that's an important qualification. There's a wild option here.

In the end, it may be that old age isn't just a liar and a thief of the worst sort. Maybe it's a teacher and a guide. We say it has its compensations. And wisdom can certainly be one of them. But maybe this thing called wisdom goes far deeper than we suspect, and part of the wisdom that age has to convey to us is the realization that we need to shed a lot of the baggage of this world before transitioning to a new adventure in the next one.

Some may object that part of the baggage that age has helped them shed already is such a belief that there is something more. And in their journey, perhaps, that shedding in its own way has helped in their preparation for what does indeed come next. But it's my view that they'll be surprised. They think nothing is on the horizon. I suspect something big is. And I realize we can't both be right. But I can't help but feel that I am.

Age. I'll still wrestle with the joker, while laughing at his pranks. And the more I fight him, the more I'll get of him, if I'm successful. But of course, in the end, I can't win, because there is an end. Or, wait. What if somehow we both win, in the end, age and I, if we do it just right? Maybe old age is the guide it needs to be, in many ways - if we take the right attitude about dealing with it.

I know, I'm still young. But we need to plan ahead.

Age well, my friends.

Constancy Again. Wait. What?

"Constancy is the foundation of virtues." Francis Bacon.

We rarely hear the word 'constancy' any more. And that's too bad. Because constancy is deeply connected with virtue. But wait.

We rarely hear the world 'virtue' any more, either. And that's also too bad. From the ancient Greek and Roman philosophers who thought deeply about the challenges of life and the strengths we need in order to face them well and prevail, we have some great insights regarding both virtue and constancy.

Virtues are just strengths of character, like courage. They are also habits. A patient man is a man who has the habit of patience. A courageous woman has a habit, or deep disposition, to respond to danger with bravery. No virtue is a one shot deal. Each of the great virtues requires repeated exercise, or a form of constancy, in our response to the world.

Spontaneity gets maybe too much good press. It can be a source of creativity, and adventure, and great fun, but without a foundation of virtue, even creativity can be destructive. Who wants to be around a creative sadist? And so, spontaneity has its proper place within a context of constancy, the foundation of a reliable character. Not all sameness is boring. Not all predictability is a guise of stagnation. A deep moral constancy is the basis for any good journey through this world. Think about that , and examine yourself for that constancy of soul that will give you strength. And then go boldly and virtuously forth.

Today.

Difficulty: How Much Can You Take?

"Nothing happens to anyone that he's not formed by nature to bear." Marcus Aurelius.

We are all, in one way or another, products of nature, whether you view the universe as a realm of divinely created nature, or in some other way. Calamities and disappointments, pains and troubles are then all also offshoots of the overall system of nature as well, viewed in the broadest possible scope. Any bad thing is then in some sense nature affecting nature. I think this is part of the background of Emperor Marcus Aurelius’ assurance that we are prepared by nature to deal with anything that comes our way.

From this point of view, there's not a problem for which no solution exists. The system that's given rise to the problem has also provided the resources we can access to deal with the problem. So we can be comforted in this assurance, however difficult our experience at times might be.

We fear being overwhelmed. We need not ever be. We have major resources, beyond what we understand.

The devout have been saying it longer than determined stoics like Marcus have. God will never put on you more than you can bear. Struggle is meant to elicit strength. Difficulty never exceeds the possibility for hope. And sometimes, the best way to deal with a difficulty is release.

In one of my favorite books ever, The Measure of My Days, Florida Scott Maxwell reflects back on her life from her eighties and expresses how surprised she is that the things hardest for her to bear, those difficulties, or developments in life that she least liked at the time, eventually gave rise to the qualities of character within her that she most treasures. That's the way it's supposed to work.

Have you been feeling overwhelmed by a problem, or do you know anyone who’s feeling that way? If you can put into use this great stoic philosopher’s insight, you can open yourself to the inner peace and confidence you need to face the future well and without fear.