Money: Blessing or Curse?

Today, the Roman poet Terence weighs in on money. He once wrote, "Riches get their value from the mind of their possessor; they're a blessing to those who know how to use them, a curse to those who don't."

Money, of course, isn’t the meaning of life. And it’s not evil, either. Its value depends on how it’s used. We’ve all seen it destroy people. And we know how a lack of it can make a life so much more difficult. Any form of wealth is a resource that can be used or abused. How are you, typically, using yours?

Ultimately, it’s up to each of us what attitude we adopt toward money. It can serve us, or we can serve it. How does it function in your life right now? Is it merely a great and useful resource, or a number one focal goal? Is it an obsession or a tool? Does it control your life, or do you control it, for the good of others as well as yourself?

Most of us worry about it too much, one way or the other.

It can indeed be a blessing or a curse, and that's up to each of us.

The Inner Circle Principle

Imagine life as involving a series of concentric circles representing your spheres of action and involvement. At the center is the inner and outer you. The next circle out is your family - both of birth and of choice - along with your closest friendships. The next circle yet is your neighborhood and your workplace. The next one out is your overall community. Then there is your state, or province, your nation, and the broader world, and perhaps even more.

Each circle, starting with the first, is to be tended to, nurtured, and grown in a healthy way, and is to be helpfully open to the next larger circles to come. We're never to get stuck in ego, or just in a family, or a neighborhood, or in a nation, in our sense of self identity and affiliation and value. As the ancient philosopher Diogenes once said, "I am a citizen of the world." Healthy self identity, and healthy affiliation at each level, is open to, and allows for, greater affiliations as well. Then, those come back and enhance the inner circles they encompass.

We're never to be stuck in any form of narrow thought that cuts us off from others. One of the biggest mistakes seen around the world is exactly that - an exclusivity of allegiance that turns others into threats and enemies. But, as my friend Vinod put it in a conversation we just had in the gym, "There are places where Sunnis work with Shiites in harmony and with shared purposes. This is how it should be." International business wants to bring the world together. International rivalries and exclusivist tribalisms want to pull the world apart. We can never fully flourish without being, in turn, tolerant, open, appreciative, and even celebratory of our differences. Tolerance is never enough, though it's the logical place to start, and hard enough for many people. But it's meant to be a door into a more positive understanding and appreciation, and even appropriation. We all have insights. And we all have errors. We can learn from each other. And we need to, in order for things to go well.

But of course, when we speak of being tolerant, open, appreciative, and even celebratory of others, we don't mean that we should ever embrace what strikes our most enlightened moral sensibilities as just wrong or unjust. What we're to learn from each other should never take us to a worse place, only to a better stage in our own understanding and sensibilities.

I hope you'll go through the day with an enhanced appreciation of all your concentric circles. You are a citizen of the world.

"We Forget How to Fall."

Reflecting on the fact that older people often sustain serious injury when they fall down, my workout partner mused one day that, "We forget how to fall." He's a lifetime surfer and skateboarder. At the age of 51, he falls all the time. And he heartily recommends it. "When you know how to fall, you don't get hurt so badly."

As kids, we fell down all the time. It was just a part of daily life. We fell down and we got back up. We fell running, and on our bikes, and in all kinds of ways. We didn't get discouraged, or distraught, or too badly bruised, at least most of the time. But, as adults, we forget how to fall, both literally and metaphorically, and so, when it does happen, we get seriously hurt, discouraged, and distraught.

Falling is, of course, a well known and much used image for failure. As kids, we tried new things all the time, and rarely got them right the first time. But, for the most part, we didn't let that bother us. We adjusted, adapted, and usually, after a time, prevailed. Sure, someone had to patch the knees of our pants, but that was almost a sign of honor, wasn't it? We were out there in the world doing things. We were active. We were brave. Falling down was just a natural part of it.

And it always is. Don't be afraid to fall down. In fact, try new little things so that maybe you can get some practice again at falling down, if you haven't had a tumble in a while. And then roll with it. Don't be tense. Be flexible, and go with it. Then just get up and try again.

The importance of those childhood lessons never goes away. Just remember: Falling is a stage of learning, and an early stepping stone to mastery. Fall often. And fall well.

Failure and Success

The pond guy, Thoreau, once said, "Men are born to succeed, not to fail," and he got it mostly right. But here's the problem. We're actually born to fail a lot along the way, because that's the only way we truly succeed. We have to take our lumps to learn our lessons. But that's not meant to be the end of the game. It's not meant to be easy, but it is meant ultimately to be about success, in the right ways.

Don’t we sometimes feel as if the cards are stacked against us in this life? Think about the obstacles you’ve had to face whenever you’ve tried to do anything new and different. It can sometimes feel like life itself is just one long uphill battle.

It’s interesting in this regard to look into the biographies of very successful people. What’s amazing is that there is a nearly universal pattern to so many of their lives. Talent and hard work initially get rewarded with encouragement and nurture, only to be set up for rejection and failure. Repeated rejection. And perplexing failure. The talented individual almost gives up in a Dark Night of the Soul. Any “reasonable” person would. But somehow, our hero shows an almost supernatural ability to stick it out though all the tough times, and finally emerges into public view as an overnight sensation.

You know the old saying: “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” The fact is that we're all born multi-talented. No one utterly lacks talent. And nobody has just one. We’re also born with the ability to discover our talents, along with the will power that it takes to develop them. If we don’t give up. If we stick with the process. We finally learn what we were born to achieve. And in that respect, Thoreau was right. It's ultimately not failure that's meant for us as the last verdict, but success - a form of success that is right for each of us. But it takes that ongoing process. And that process will involve lots of trouble along the way. Remember that today. You were born to succeed. After all that failure. So go do it.

Hearing No: Some Advice that Sticks.

This past weekend, I came across the story of Vera Stout. She was working at an ammunition factory during the second world war - not the safest of jobs - while her two sons were serving in the Navy. One day, she had an idea about how ammo boxes could be sealed with a cloth based tape that would allow them to be opened more quickly, ripped right off, and maybe that would save time and lives for troops under fire.

She took the idea to her bosses. They said no.

That happens a thousand times a day, or maybe an hour, around the world. Someone has a new idea about how to improve things, or a conception for a new product or business, and the gate keepers say no. The boss, the manager, the supervisor, the agent, isn't impressed. It won't work. No thanks. Sorry.

Too many people then just meekly give up. Vera wasn't the sort, so she wrote a letter to the president, not of her company, but of the United States, telling him about her idea. And within weeks, she got a letter from the Navy thanking her and saying that her invention would be rolled out right away. And many claim that it did save lives. Plus, what would the rest of us do without her creation - duct tape?

When you hear no, it's often more about the person rejecting your idea than the idea itself. Sometimes, the best thing to do is stick to your dream like the sturdiest duct tape.

The Breathtaking Joy of Existence

Check out Albert Einstein musing on the faith of his birth and how he expands out from it:

Judaism appears to me to be almost exclusively concerned with the moral attitude in and toward life. […] The essence of the Jewish concept of life seems to me to be the affirmation of life for all creatures. […} There remains, however, something more in the Jewish tradition, so gloriously revealed in certain of the psalms; namely a kind of drunken joy and surprise at the beauty and incomprehensible sublimity of this world, of which man can attain but a faint intimation. It is the feeling from which genuine research draws its intellectual strength, but which also seems to manifest itself in the song of birds…

That one clause made me smile: "a kind of drunken joy and surprise at the beauty and incomprehensible sublimity of this world, of which man can attain but a faint intimation."

Here's what's both humbling and exciting to ponder: We can sometimes have a huge, intense, soul enlarging experience of that beauty and incomprehensible sublimity, a mystical realization coming to us unheralded, and stopping us in our tracks. I recently wrote on one such experience I had during a daily walk, some weeks ago (click here). And sometimes, like Saul, on the road to Damascus, it's a life changing experience that reorients everything for us, opening us up anew and turning us onto a path we hadn't really seen before.

Just like the Psalmist, we can feel that "drunken joy and surprise at the beauty and incomprehensible sublimity of the world." And yet, however great and overwhelming the experience might be, Albert E considers it merely "a faint intimation" of the true reality that encompasses us. Just think about that, and its implications.

Wouldn't it be great to carry with us every day that sense that we're living and working amid immensities whose grandeur and scope are so great that our highest mystical experiences capture only a glancing glimpse of the hem of its garment? Then, perhaps, we'd really have a new moral attitude, and an affirmation of all life that would make us lights in the darkness that so sadly seems to engulf many in our time.

Truth is a wildly blazing sun. Carry with you at least a small candle in its honor. Cast light in the darkness wherever you go.

Are You Wise, or Otherwise?

Questioner: Are you a wise man?

Answerer: I'm only a few short steps down the path, and it's a very long road.

Questioner: You respond in the best way.

Answerer: And you.

Making Your Difference

The spiritual writer Thomas á Kempis once wrote, "At the day of Judgement, we shall not be asked what we have read but what we have done."

Reading can certainly be one of the greatest roads to life wisdom. When we read the distilled thoughts and reactions of other fellow travelers on the human journey, we broaden our own perspectives about life. Reading calls on the imagination. And it can be done at our own pace. It is a unique and powerful form of discovery. 

But traveling any road requires action. A book or magazine, a newspaper or website or email, is, at best, a tool to be used for better living. In an age when the pace of life seems to crowd out those quiet stretches of time required for extended reading, we all need to be reminded of its importance.  But Kempis reminds us even more powerfully that our reading should affect how we live. Our ultimate calling is to make a difference in our world. Today. And tomorrow.

Make sure you're doing your best to make your difference, day to day.

What Few Understand About Wisdom

Through the millennia comes a recommendation:

"Make wisdom your provision for the journey from youth to old age, for it is a more certain support than all other possessions."

That's a quote from the ancient philosopher, Bias of Priene. But maybe he was just biased, you could be thinking, if you're cleverer than it's good to be. No, he was simply right.

And many people these days don't quite get the importance of wisdom because they misunderstand what it is. It isn't the memorization and mental retention of catchy aphorisms or epigrams. The wisest among us isn't the person who can come up with the most quotes, like that one above from Bias of Priene. Wisdom isn't the same thing as recitation. A bird can be taught to recite quotes. It isn't even a matter of theoretical knowledge at all, as if there's a certain number of insights about life, a discrete number of wisdom facts, and to have wisdom is just to have learned them all.

And, most of all, wisdom isn't the ability to think and say obscure sounding things that can be interpreted by others as profound. What then, is it?

Wisdom is a skill set involving perceptive discernment, healthy emotion, and appropriate action.

It took me a while to come up with that, which is probably the wisest thing I've ever said about wisdom.

That's why it's impossible to come across a wise man or woman who always acts like a fool. If a person is foolish, then, to that extent, he or she isn't wise. But again, it isn't an all or nothing matter. It's not like the proverbial light switch, either on or off. It's more like a spectrum. You can grow wiser. When we call someone wise, we don't mean to imply perfection, only a preponderance of insight and appropriateness in judgment, emotion, and action.

The fact that wisdom is a skill set is good news. Any skill can be cultivated. Some people seem to be born with an innate endowment toward such skilled behavior, but hard work and practice can bridge the gap. And it's important for us all to cultivate this skill set throughout our days, because a fully good and happy life is impossible without it.

Wisdom, then, is not to be found just in words, but in lived insight. The words that best convey those insights are merely markers pointing to the skills we all need to acquire through their help. The sayings of the wise are our breadcrumbs along the path of full living.

Shocking News About Wisdom

There's some important news to share. I've blogged recently about wisdom. And, because of something that's pretty astonishing in recent science news, I wanted to highlight an important side of it today, or maybe a way of getting more of it into our lives.

Wisdom doesn't just come from sitting and thinking. And that's a good thing, because few people seem to want to do that now. Even the fact that you're quietly reading this blog post makes you a pretty remarkable person. In fact, the prestigious journal Science recently reported an experiment where people were given the choice to either sit quietly and ponder their lives, or else administer electric shocks to themselves, and a surprising (I should say shocking) 64% of men and 15% of women chose the voltage. Pain over pondering. Sit and ponder that for a moment. And, please, especially if you're a guy, fight off any urges to go stick your finger in a socket instead.

I'm not kidding. This is a problem. But, fortunately, to gain wisdom, you don't have to turn off the phone, put down the pad, and just sit alone and meditate on your life.

Wisdom is embodied insight about living, a form of deep, practical knowledge that will guide our paths in good times and bad. If we keep our eyes wide open, if we truly pay attention, and ponder a bit what comes our way, as we're out and about in the world, we can accumulate a bit of wisdom almost every day.  And especially on those days when we share a thought, a musing, a perplexity, or a question of wonderment with a friend. And here's the good news.

We often have our deepest insights in conversation with others. That's the way we're made. We're intended to share this journey of life together with fellow travelers. We're meant to learn from each other and with each other. So make it a point today or tomorrow to ask someone a question about something that really matters to you. Listen carefully to the answer. And then share your own thoughts. You may find yourself with a new insight, a new angle on an old insight, a bit of wisdom that will light your path, a possession of the heart that costs nothing and yet may pay great dividends for the future. 

Any day that you've accumulated a new piece of wisdom is a successful day, the most certain support there can be for a truly successful life.